Forever a Family
by natzinoo
Summary: After a devastating loss, and unexpected circumstances, Hotch and Prentiss find themselves pretending to be a family with two young children. But will all the pressures that go along with starting a family bring them together or push them apart forever. De-aged fic, Hotch/Prentiss romance. Runner up for Best Characterisation of Aaron Hotchner Profiler's Choice Awards 2015
1. Chapter 1

A/N _Thank you so much to my Beta, GoodGodHenry, for helping me iron out the plot and for encouraging me to put up my first story. She's been a tremendous help, so thank you. You should check out her story, Foundation._

 _This is my first story so please review and let me know what you think. This is a Hotch and Prentiss romance, with the added twist of a de-aged Reid and JJ._

 _There is no Will and Henry, and JJ never left_.

* * *

The team was gathered at the police station, staring at the evidence board, searching for any clue that would help them catch the unsub. They had been on the case for two days, and they still had nothing. No motive, no connection, no cause of death.

Nothing.

They were all tired, and the tension in the room was running high. They needed to catch a break.

Eventually Morgan threw his pen down in frustration "What the hell is this guy doing?". The unsub had abducted and killed three couples in as many weeks. Strauss was breathing down their necks, watching them for any signs of a mistake. Their team had attracted a lot of attention from the higher ups in the last six months, with the Foyet attack, Ian Doyle's death, and Emily's return. So it was no secret that after the year the BAU had been through, Strauss was eager to get rid of most of them, if not all of them. Now they all felt as if they were under a microscope.

If it had been any other time, Morgan knew the team could handle it. They would have stood as a unit, and come out stronger. Right now though, they were barely holding it together. Each of them was broken in some way, and even by putting them together, they didn't have enough solid pieces to hold the structure up. They were crumbling. Reid was not talking to JJ, taking out all his frustrations on her, and holding her responsible. A part of him wanted to say something to Reid to get him to back off, he knew it wasn't fair to JJ. Morgan could see it was killing the young blonde, she wasn't nearly as confident as she was before, she had lost her spark. But, a larger part of him agreed with the young Doctor, he felt just as betrayed. Sure, he could understand why they did it, but JJ should have known the ramifications a lie that big would have on the team, especially on Reid. The kid already had abandonment issues.

He would have been mad at Hotch too, but after all he'd been through the guy deserved some slack. Morgan had seen Hotch try and talk to Reid, but that hadn't worked. Why?, because Hotch was just a shell of the man he had once been. Hotch used to be the unshakeable foundation they could lean on. But now, he was a man fighting off his own emotional demons, and as much as he tried, he just couldn't take on anyone else's. Morgan didn't blame him, not in the least. All he could do was offer Hotch his unwavering support, and help him come out on the other side.

"Let's go back to the beginning." Rossi suggested, in the hope that they would pick up on something they had missed before.

"Okay" Emily quickly agreed, shooting Morgan a look to prevent from protesting. They had been through the case a hundred times already, but she knew it was better than sitting around and waiting. Besides, there wasn't anything else they could do, and they needed to do something. Not just to solve the case, but to keep their minds off of the dark thoughts that were looming in the back of their heads.

Shit! It had been a hard few months. "We know he is abducting couples."

"He keeps them for a few days before killing them." JJ said continuing on from Emily. "I just got off the phone with Garcia, and she is still going through the videos that were sent to the families. She hasn't gotten a voice match." JJ added unsurely, looking as if it were her fault she didn't have better news. She felt like she was failing at her job, letting her team down, the victims, and their families. JJ half expected someone to snap at her, and she wouldn't blame them.

Emily's heart broke for her. JJ was in this situation because she had tried to protect her. She knew JJ had the tendency to internalise everyone else's emotions in an attempt to lessen their pain, and when she couldn't, JJ would beat herself up over it. Emily wished that for once JJ would see that she didn't need to carry the world on her shoulders. If she was honest with herself, Emily would admit that she was a little mad at Reid and Morgan. They never once had considered how hard it must have been for JJ, all those months with no-one to confide in, and now she was being ostracised. But no, Emily wouldn't admit that, because she understood where they were coming from too.

"What's the point of the video?" Morgan asked, ignoring JJ's uncertainty, and bringing Emily out of her thoughts. "I mean, he's not demanding anything. All he says is 'Look, look what you've done!"

"He tortures the couple's, records it, and then sends the videos to the parents? If you ask me it's definitely a message to the parents. He must be blaming them for something." Rossi murmured

"Maybe they are the real targets?" JJ asked, so softly they nearly missed it, before looking around the room, waiting for the snap.

Hotch, who had been quiet up until then felt he needed to speak up. At the very least to ease some of JJ's uncertainty. He shook his head slowly, "Yes, but it's more than that. It's his way of maximising the suffering, and spreading it out beyond just the victims. The fact that he sends the parents a video everyday shows he's more interested in the psychological pain he inflicts."

Hotch knew that pain. The feeling of complete helplessness, knowing that there is nothing you can do to save your child.

The pain of knowing your child is scared, asking for you, hoping for you to save them, begging you to make it stop, but there is not a damn thing you can do about it. Worse than that, if there could be worse, was knowing that it was all your fault.

Hotch felt his chest tighten, the pain was still there, it had never left.

It was his fault Jack was dead. His actions killed his son.

He took a deep breath trying to shake the thoughts from his mind. He needed to keep focused. It was too late for him, but he could prevent someone else from having to live through it.

Emily was the only one who noticed the quick flash of pain in Hotch's eyes, and the way he was clenching his fists under the table. She was tempted to reach out and grab his hand in attempt to comfort him. But just as quickly as it came, it was gone. He had put his walls up, and slipped back into agent mode.

"Guys, all the videos have something in common." Reid commented, without glancing up from his files as he moved towards the evidence board. "Each of the victims is apologising for something."

"Yeah, so? We know he perceives them as having faults." Morgan added dryly

Reid vigorously shook his head, "No, there is something else, it' more than just that. It's what they are apologising for that's interesting. They are all apologising for faults that they have, but they are not faults that society normally demands an apology for."

The rest of the team stared at Reid. Confusion written on all of their faces, as they waited for him to explain what he meant.

Reid sighed before continuing animatedly, "They are apologising for feelings such as, depression, failure, guilt, unworthiness, 'not caring enough', and a feeling of being responsible for a situation that they couldn't possibly change." Reid said writing down a list of the 'failing' each victim confessed to in the videos.

"These are not things that they can change about themselves. What I'm getting at is, all the things they apologise for having, are out of their control."

"Reid, how does that help us?" Rossi sighed, exasperated at the kids rambling.

"The victims wouldn't have these emotional responses unless they were taught to. The parameters of what good and bad emotions are, are normally conditioned into us as children. The unsub is blaming the parents for creating the feelings of inadequacies that the victims admit to having. I think the unsub sees himself as freeing the victims from their negative emotions, while punishing those that he feels put the emotions in place."

The room was silent as everyone tried to absorb what Reid had just said. The theory was crazy, it wasn't at all logical, but they all knew that it only needed to make sense to the unsub. It wasn't their job to rationalise it, it was their job to stop him.

Emily was the quickest to recover. "Okay, but getting that much insight into their feelings must have taken weeks of stalking. Maybe even months. You don't learn those things about people easily." The team nodded. They had all known each other for a long time, and despite that, they still didn't know all of each other's deeply hidden insecurities. Those feelings tended to want to remain buried. People didn't just open up, they were all guilty of that.

"That could explain how he abducted them." Rossi nodded in agreement. "They could have been in some sort of therapy, and opened up to a therapist. We should have Garcia look into any therapists they might have been seeing"

"If he knew them before it explains how he abducted them. There was no struggle at any of the homes, and nobody reported anything strange at the places they worked or frequented. It also explains the missing car, they probably drove to the therapist." Morgan threw in.

Everyone nodded in consent, at last they were getting somewhere. Just then there was a knock at the door, and an officer walked in handing the M.E report to Reid. He read through the report quickly, furrowing his brow more and more until he finished.

"What is it, kid?" Morgan asked. He got no response.

"Reid!" He called louder, trying to get his attention.

Reid looked up at the team, with a confused expression on his face. "I think our unsub was trying to perform some type of experiment"

"I hope this is not an evil scientist theory" Rossi said rolling his eyes, only half joking, causing Emily and Morgan to grin.

Reid continued as if he hadn't even heard Rossi, "They all died from an overdose of an unknown combination of drugs, the report says the lab is unable to identify them. What's strange is that the women had higher levels of the drugs, and multiple puncture wounds in the stomach, suggesting the drug was administered weeks before they were abducted. Maybe even consentingly at first, but the last shot was into the neck. The men all died from just one dose injected only into the neck, but only had half the dosage in their system."

"What's the point of this experiment?" Morgan asked, confused and almost challengingly.

"And why would the women have more of the drugs in there system?" JJ added baffled.

"I don't know." Reid responded to both questions, just as puzzled as them.

The answer dawned on Hotch so suddenly he almost had to brace himself against the pain. The urge to be sick was overwhelming, almost violent. He could feel his breathing quicken and become more laboured. He felt dizzy. He waited for it to ease up before sharing his thoughts.

"They were trying to get pregnant," he said when he finally managed to speak. The team continued to look at him, and he was forced to continue. "They were going for fertility treatment. That is why the women had more drugs in their system, and it also explains why the track marks were on the stomach". Hotch felt his breath hitch as he strained to get the next part out, "Haley and I…". He took a deep breath, and ignored the blood pounding in his head, "We had to do intensive therapy before we could begin treatment. We were ready to try anything, and willing to listen to anyone in order to get pregnant. Haley wouldn't give up until we found out about Jack.". Jack's name came out strangled, even to his own ears. He felt a sickening pain, worse than being stabbed, and he knew he had to get out of the room.

"That would explain his motive. He didn't think they were fit to be parents. They would damage their children in the same way their parents damaged them" Morgan agreed.

Hotch merely nodded, and he left the room, but not before his eyes met Emily's.

* * *

A/N _Heavy on the angst, but I hope you liked it._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N: _I once again owe a huge thank you to my beta reader GoodGodHenry, she was a tremendous help. Patiently dealing with my dilemma's over word choices._

Disclaimer: _I realised I hadn't put one on in the first chapter, and I might forget in future. I do not own anything except my imagination. Everything else belongs to the wonderful showrunners of Criminal minds._

A/N: _Yes, Jack is very definitely dead in this story._

* * *

Emily had seen the raw emotion in Hotch's eyes before he left, she had heard it in his voice. They all knew Hotch was still struggling, no one expected him not to be. But this was the first time Emily got a glimpse at the true extent of his sorrow, the utter agony that was slowly eating away at him. She so badly wanted to help him, to hold him in her arms, to ease some of his pain. Emily knew her feelings for Hotch had changed, but so much had happened between her realising and now that she hadn't been able to act on it. Perhaps if the circumstances had been different she would have.

When Emily walked into his apartment and saw the blood on the floor, the bullet in the wall, and no Hotch, she had felt an overwhelming sense of panic. The clawing fear that rose in her chest was almost paralyzing. She hadn't had time to analyse the emotions then, she just knew that her reaction went above the concern she would have felt for any other colleague. Yes, her team was her family, but with Hotch it was more. Just the thought that she had lost him almost broke her heart.

It was the little things that had drawn her to him. At first it was his unwavering belief in right and wrong, something so refreshing to her after she had been living in the grey area for so long. Slowly she had begun to see that despite being a stickler for the rules, he allowed room for his team members to deal with any personal demons that arose. Always offering his unwavering support. Their problems became his as well, even if he didn't fully understand. For Emily it had been with Matthew, and god knew how awful that had been for her.

His compassion was amazing, yes, he was hard on the team, but he also knew when to stop pushing them. When they needed to hear it, he was willing to praise them. When they needed a kind word, he had it. Aaron knew when to be subtle. This was especially true for JJ and Garcia, the two more sensitive members of the team, even though JJ would flat out deny being seen as sensitive.

He watched out for his team, and tried to shield them from any unnecessary burdens. He tried to fill in a role that he thought they were lacking. For Reid it was a father, maybe to JJ too. To Morgan he took on the role of a mentor. To her he was a friend, always a friend.

His unyielding ability to stay calm in almost any situation was another draw. He could compartmentalise just as well, maybe even better, than she could. The idea that Hotch would know she wasn't immune to what she saw, was oddly comforting to her. So was the notion that she wasn't the only one. He would understand that sometimes, alone at home when her guard was down, she was vulnerable to the horrors that were in her mind, shaking her usually unshakeable self. Hotch would understand how unnerving it was to be vulnerable, to let those walls down. He would know how helpless it felt when you were forced to confront your emotions, how impossible it is was to try and fight them off. After all isn't that what he was doing now, fighting to not give in and breakdown?

Emily knew that sometimes it was completely necessary to let those emotions go. You had to break down to build yourself back up, as cliche as it sounded, it's how you started over. She just hoped she could make Hotch see that.

He needed to talk to someone, and she hoped it would be her he confided in. He needed someone to remind him that it wasn't his fault, even though he wouldn't believe it, he needed to hear it. She wanted to tell him he didn't need to walk this road by himself, that he wasn't alone, because god did she know what it felt like to be alone. Emily knew she couldn't make it okay, she could never take the hurt away, but she hoped she could help him through this nightmarish ordeal.

But this was Hotch, and he would never open up about his vulnerabilities. She knew Hotch, so she knew he blamed himself for Haley and Jack's death. He probably believed that the torment he felt was his burden to bare, and that he didn't deserve to have anyone help him. He was stubborn, so very, very stubborn. She knew he felt it was his job to protect the team, and his family, no matter how impossible it was. And that was the problem. He felt he had failed to protect his family, and lost them as a result. It was this sense of failure that was driving the nail deeper into his heart.

His look haunted her. It was etched into her mind, making her decide that somehow she had to get him to talk. She needed to break through his shell, and push him to open up, before he sank. Otherwise she might just lose him forever, and that was a risk she was not willing to take.

She moved to get up and find him, but Rossi stopped her seeming to understand what she was going to do. With what looked to be support in his eyes he gently whispered, "Let him be for now, there will be time to talk later." She nodded, he was right, their discussion could wait. With a forced smile she returned to her seat, and trying to focus solely on the case.

* * *

Hotch locked the bathroom door before retching into the toilet, emptying his stomach of the little he had had for breakfast. He knew he was beginning to lose weight, his clothes were getting loose, but he didn't care. He couldn't make himself eat, and he had given up trying, the little he did manage always came up again.

He felt as if he was fighting to just breathe. At times he was ready to give up, to stop trying, to let himself float off into the darkness that threatened to consume him. But as quickly as that thought came, another one came to mind. Jack's voice would break through and reach for him in the darkness. His last words echoed through his mind, _"Catch all the bad guys dad, you gotta promise. You need to keep the other boys and girls safe, and happy. Remember to be happy daddy"_ With a gun held to his head, his son had told him to be happy. Hotch choked on a sob, he knew that as tempting as it was to give up, he had to keep his promise.

Hotch's retching became dry heaving sobs, albeit silent ones, he couldn't risk anyone hearing him breakdown. He sat back against the door with his head held in his hands, quietly murmuring to himself, "I'm sorry buddy, I'm so sorry daddy wasn't there."

Knowing he had a promise to keep didn't make going from day to day any easier. How was he supposed to be happy when he woke up to a crushing sadness, and a feeling of utter helplessness. From the moment he opened his eyes the disappointment of having to face another day came crashing down on him. It washed over him so completely, that it made getting out of bed in the morning a monumental task.

At first Hotch had simply tried to bury himself in work, he stayed at the office late taking on extra paperwork. He moved through life minute by minute, if he looked any further than that it was physically painful, and emotionally overwhelming. After a while, work wasn't even enough anymore, and the feeling of hopelessness crept its way back in.

A part of him knew he couldn't lead his team anymore, he was putting them in danger. He was taking huge, stupid, and irrational risks. He was willingly putting his life on the line, and as a result the team's. Of all the things Hotch was absolutely certain about, it was that his team was willing to risk anything for him. Even their lives. That was why he knew that walking into a house unarmed, without his kevlar was selfish. The same way that it was selfish to be walking into a building that was on fire, and about to explode. And countless other examples that Hotch didn't care to remember.

He knew Morgan had began to doubt him and his ability to lead the team, but had so far remained silent. Hotch knew that Morgan's anxiety was coming from a place of concern, that he was merely looking out for him, and the others. Hell, Hotch was concerned about himself. He knew the whole team was worried about him, and he was grateful. He wasn't blind to the looks they gave him, or each other, and the caring gestures they made towards him. It was comforting for him to know that they were there. Yet he never acknowledged them, for some reason he was scared, as if by acknowledging his need for help, he was admitting that a part of him had been broken. Smashed. Destroyed.

A part of him resented the fact that he relied on them, that he was comforted by them, and for being weak enough to need them. But a bigger and more desperate part of himself was thankful. He wasn't alone, he didn't have anything to live for, but he wasn't alone. So yes, he knew he shouldn't be leading his team anymore, but at the same time it was impossible to walk away. He couldn't stand to lose them too.

Hotch shook his head, "No!" he mentally berated himself, "You do have something to live for!". For a moment Emily's face flashed through his mind, giving him a warm feeling in his chest, but he quickly shook the thought off. No, his team, especially JJ and Reid, still needed him. The victims and their families still needed him, they needed justice. But most importantly he needed to keep his promise. With this in mind he had everything to live for.

Hotch stood and straightened his suit, pulling himself together. Before he could put his mask back on and walk away, one last thought of Jack came to mind. _"Daddy always wins, nobody beats daddy."_

Hotch let out a sad sigh and whispered, "I'm sorry I didn't win that last time buddy."

He splashed water onto his face, and ran a hand through his hair. He knew deep down that Haley would say he had another chance to win, another chance to make the most out of life and love. She would tell him he could learn to laugh again, that he should laugh again. Hotch simply shook his head, he doubted very much that he would ever again be able to.

* * *

Hotch stepped out of the bathroom and took a deep breath before he headed back to the conference room. However, before he could make a move, an angry officer stepped in front of him blocking his path. Hotch blinked and then frowned, what was this guy doing.

"Shouldn't you be doing something to catch this guy?" the officer demanded loudly, causing several people to turn towards them.

Hotch's gaze turned steely, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You and your team have been sitting in there all day, doing nothing!", he said jerking his hand towards the conference room. "And now you're out here taking a breather. Well let me tell you something Mr FBI, those victims aren't going to take another breath. They didn't have 'a minute', and neither should you." He finished angrily, with his finger pointing at Hotch's chest.

Hotch stiffened, and crossed his arms. His gaze turning from steely to venomous in a matter of seconds. He took a step toward the officer, who immediately stepped back, intimidated.

Before Hotch could make his scathing reply, the police chief stepped in and sternly called out, "Officer Danning, can I have a word.". It was phrased as a question, but both Hotch and the young officer knew that it wasn't. Luckily, Officer Danning knew when to back down. He meekly followed the chief into his office, unaware of how narrowly he had missed coming to blows with the unit chief. And Hotch wasn't going to hold any punches, verbally or otherwise.

Hotch continued to glare at the officer as he made his way towards the office, so he was startled when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Hotch…"

"What?" he snapped, and immediately winced at his tone. He looked down to find Emily's gaze on him as she intently studied him. He suddenly became very aware of the hand still on his forearm, and the odd sensation it caused in his belly.

Emily was unfazed by his tone, and she continued to stare at him.

"Aaron", she said softly, "He's wrong. It's okay to take a minute.".

Hotch was startled by the use of his first name, but he felt himself soften slightly. Her tone was firm but her dark eyes were gentle. She gave him a look filled with understanding, telling him it was okay, that she was there. Hotch shrugged the thought away, he was imagining it, it wasn't okay. He seriously needed to get a grip.

"No, it's not. He's right, we shouldn't be wasting time. We need to stay focused!". His body language was stiff, and his tone came out harsher than intended, but he didn't have time to dwell on it. Instead he brushed past her, and entered the conference room.

"What have we got?", he asked with his eyes trained on the evidence board, he wasn't ready to meet anyones eye.

"Garcia called, all the victims were looking into fertility treatment. They all visited a website that is listed to a company called 'New Age'. The company is currently researching, and testing, various sorts of new drugs and different combinations. They aren't focused on researching any one specific field of medicine, rather they are developing drugs varying from the cure of Alzheimer's, to fertility treatment. They have over thirty employees, so we would have to narrow down the search, but I think our unsub probably works there. He has to have a secondary location where he holds the victims." Reid answered Hotch, reciting all the information in one breath.

"The address is two hours away", JJ added, "I just got hold of the head researcher, and he agreed to talk to us."

Hotch nodded, "JJ you and Reid go to the lab and talk to him. Ask him about the drug found in our victims, as well as what the requirements are to get into the fertility program." he said dismissing them.

JJ and Reid simply nodded, neither of them eager to be alone with each other for two hours.

* * *

A/N: _This was an emotional chapter, and as my beta told me a bit of a tearjerker, but I hope you enjoyed it._

 _Thank you for your wonderful reviews, follows, and favourites. I appreciate them immensely._


	3. Chapter 3

A/N _Once again thank you my great, and very patient, Beta reader GoodGodHenry._

Disclaimer: _I do not own Criminal minds._

* * *

JJ glanced at Reid, they had been in the car for close to two hours and he hadn't said a word to her. She knew he was still mad at her for the whole Emily fiasco, but frankly she didn't know what to do about it.

She had apologised, she knew it wasn't easy on him and that he was hurt. But if she had to do it again, she would. She was tired of apologising; it hadn't been any easier for her to deal with.

The thought that her best friend, and probably one of the women she admired most, was out there, being forced to hide while continually looking over her shoulder, had sucked! She had hated seeing everyone so upset, and her stomach twisted every time Spencer came over.

It had been difficult, and she had been terribly lonely.

Hotch had tried to be there, he really had, but he wasn't himself and JJ missed him. She hadn't realised how much she had depended on him until then. He had always made her feel better, and somehow he just always managed to make her feel safe. Well as safe as she could be on this job. He was her guiding light leading her through the dark world they saw daily.

She had missed Emily too, there had been no one to turn to for advice or reassurance. Sure she had had Garcia, but it wasn't the same. Garcia was more of a sister; they commiserated about their problems, swooned over boys, and went shopping together. While JJ had done these things with Emily too, Emily had a better way of comforting her.

Strange, JJ thought as her mind rambled on, Emily had a similar effect on her to the one Hotch did. They were her go to people.

JJ's gaze focused back to the road in front of her, the trees flew by in a blur of green that seemed to go on forever. It felt as if she and Reid were driving to the middle of nowhere, slowly leaving everything safe behind them. She supposed this was an accurate metaphor for her a Reid's relationship, they were in unknown territory, and she didn't know if they knew the way back.

An uneasy feeling settled itself into JJ's stomach, and she wasn't sure if it had to do with the case, or with her and Reid.

"Hey Spence, are you sure we are going the right way?"

He gave her a dirty look, "Yes I'm sure, I'm not the one who can't be trusted."

JJ gritted her teeth, she hated his underhanded, snappy comments. "I was just asking.", she ground out, trying to stay calm. Hotch had warned her that it wouldn't help the situation if she lost her temper.

Spencer simply ignored her, and they went back to silence.

As they went further JJ's unease grew, something was off about this research lab. Maybe she should just call Hotch and the team for backup - or maybe it was nothing and she was just being over anxious.

"Why is it so far away from everything?" She asked Reid, hoping he would be able to sooth part of her anxiety.

He rolled his eyes, "It's a research facility."

JJ frowned, that hadn't answered her question, "So?"

"They are doing experiments Jennifer, probably classified ones. People who keep secrets usually get isolated from everyone else"

She winced at her first name and sighed, another jab, she should have known better than to ask.

"Spence, can we not do this? Please?"

He huffed.

"I really am sorry, I didn't do it to hurt you." She implored, giving him the most woebegone expression she muster up.

"Well you did, so I guess it doesn't matter." Reid replied dismissively, starting to get worked up.

"Spence…"

"I trusted you! I came to your house for ten weeks in a row, crying over losing a friend, and not _once_ did you have the decency to tell me the truth."

Guiltily, fighting tears, JJ answered, "I couldn't."

"You _couldn't_ , or you _wouldn't_?" he demanded more aggressively

"No, I couldn't!" JJ said frustrated

"What if I had started taking dilaudid again? Would you have let me?" Reidasked a little more calmly

"You didn't." JJ bit out nervously

"Yeah, but I thought about it."

"Spence! I'm sorry!

"It's too late! Alright?" he bit back.

JJ fought back tears. No, no, no, no, she yelled furiously at herself - it couldn't be true! Drugs he thought about going back on drugs! Oh god, she was a terrible person, she had let him down, again!

An image of a pissed off Morgan, and Hotch flitted into her mind, she had promised after Hankel she would take better care of him. Stupidly the tears began to fall anyway, and she wiped away at them furiously.

Spencer glanced at JJ, he felt slightly guilty when he saw the tears running down her cheeks, but his anger prevailed. He wasn't ready to forgive her, not yet. She shouldn't be making him feel guilty, he thought angrily.

"Tears don't mean anything, not to you anyway" he said nastily.

Spencer regretted the words as soon as they came out, he had gone too far. JJ was _always_ there for him when he cried, even if she was the reason. But still, he thought stubbornly, he was not going to apologize.

His words were so unexpected that JJ's breath caught. Her knuckles whitened as she gripped the steering wheel, and her temper flared.

"You know what Spencer? It killed me to see you cry, but I said I was sorry, and I'm done saying it. It's not like I can undo the past, even if I wanted to. So quit acting like spoiled child who didn't get his way!" She all but yelled at him.

"Or what? You going to run to Hotch, and tell him I am being meaning to his darling JJ?" Spencer retorted angrily.

"No" She seethed, "For a genius you are incredibly stupid. But I'm not going to argue with you anymore, if you want to act like a kid instead of an adult go ahead!" JJ said sharply.

"That's not what I'm doing, and you know it" he said indignantly

"Oh really? So this tantrum you're having right now isn't like a little kid? Instead of talking about your issues you're lashing out! What about the fact that you were going to take drugs, even though you _know_ it is dangerous, or were you just going to do it to get attention?" she ranted.

He responded in the same tone, "I was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

The irony of their back and forth arguing was not lost on JJ, and her anger momentarily forgotten, she let out a chuckle.

"We are both acting like kids" she sighed with a small grin. Spencer couldn't help but grin back, they _were_ behaving like children, and in an odd way it was kind of funny.

They were silent again, but the tension wasn't so stifling anymore. Their little spat had eased some of it, but there was still enough to make them feel uncomfortable.

"Spence, can we just move past this?" JJ all but begged.

Reid shook his head, "I can't just stop being mad."

Before JJ had a chance to respond, he was yelling frantically for her to turn.

"Reid, a little heads up would've been nice!"

"Sorry, I was distracted." he mumbled insincerely.

They had turned onto a long and winding gravel road, lined with overgrown trees, the fading sun was making it difficult to see where the road ended. They hadn't even caught sight of the building yet. 'Must be some pretty top secret stuff,' JJ thought to herself, recalling Reid's earlier remark.

It was a secluded property that was almost invisible to the outside world, JJ wondered how they had managed to find it in the first place. When they reached the large concrete building, JJ was happy to note that it didn't look neglected, or haunted. However she was still uneasy, it was too quiet.

She turned to Spencer, "There's nobody here!"

Spencer's eyes never left the building as he shrugged, and replied, "Maybe they have all gone home for the day, it is late. The head researcher probably stayed behind to talk to us."

JJ looked at him skeptically but nodded her agreement, he was right, she was just paranoid. This situation was reminding her too much of the Hankel incident, that's why she was uncomfortable.

JJ involuntarily shuddered. "Maybe we should call Hotch, and wait for backup, just in case."

"No!" Reid said firmly. "We are qualified FBI agents JJ, we can do this without backup. The team is already overprotective enough, we need to prove we can handle ourselves. Besides it will take to long for them to get here."

"We don't have to prove anything Reid." JJ said, though she did look perturbed at the remark. Maybe it was true, they did need to prove they could handle themselves.

Reid knew it wasn't true, but at the same time he felt that Hotch's reluctance to trust him with Emily's secret, was because he couldn't handle himself as well in the field as everyone else. Rationally he knew his argument was flawed, Hotch hadn't trusted anybody, besides JJ. He glanced over at her, irrational jealousy flaring up.

"Let's go!" he said getting out of the car and heading towards the research facility.

JJ followed him, taking a deep breath at the door, she pushed the buzzer.

"Hello?" a hoarse voice called out over the line.

"I'm Agent Jareau with the FBI, I called earlier regarding some of the research you are doing. Would it be okay if we came in and asked you some questions?"

"Agent Jareau. Dr Reid. I was expecting the both of you, come in." The door swung open and the agents stepped in.

When the door slammed shut behind them, JJ and Reid suddenly came to a horrifying realisation. How had he known who Reid was? JJ hadn't introduced him, and she was positive she had not mentioned he was coming with her.

She heard Reid yell, "JJ!", before she felt a sickening blow to the back of her head, and blacked out.

Reid stared frozen at JJ, desperately trying to pull out his gun. He felt a stabbing pain in his chest, and realised he was too late; he'd been shot.

* * *

Hotch checked his watch, it was nine o'clock, they had been working for over twelve hours. He knew it was time to call it a night; they needed to get some rest.

He sighed before announcing "Okay guys, let's head back to the hotel and get some sleep. We can start again with fresh eyes tomorrow. Has anyone heard from Reid or JJ?"

Hotch hadn't heard from either of them in over two hours. They had sent a text saying that they had arrived, but there had been nothing since then.

Emily looked up at Hotch's question, cringing slightly, "Shoot, sorry! I forgot to tell you, they sent me a text about five minutes ago saying it was late, and they would head back tomorrow."

Hotch's raised an eyebrow, it was his call to decide if they should stay or not, not theirs.

Emily read this is his expression, but JJ _had_ explained her reasons in the text, so Emily continued "JJ said it was further than expected, and they had some more interviews to do in the morning."

"Why didn't she call?" Hotch demanded

"Hotch, relax. She said the cell service was really bad." Emily said in an attempt to placate him.

Hotch was still unconvinced.

"Come on Aaron, I'm sure they're fine. You know how it is." Rossi stepped in clapping him lightly on the back. Hotch looked like hell, and Rossi wanted to make sure he got some rest.

Hotch _did_ know how it was, that's exactly why he was concerned. Anything could go wrong.

"Yeah, come on man." Morgan agreed, "They'll call as soon as they get to a hotel with cell reception. Give it another thirty minutes before you start worrying."

Hotch was still hesitant, but he finally gave in. They were probably right, he needed to stop babying Reid and JJ. So he nodded, "Alright, I'll meet you back at the hotel. I'll wait here for them to call."

Rossi and Morgan headed out, but Emily stayed behind.

Hotch looked up at her, "Prentiss, I'll be awhile. I appreciate that you are willing to wait with me, but you should go" he said firmly.

She gave him an unimpressed look before saying "You need to follow your own orders."

Hotch's eyebrows rose, but she didn't back down, and he saw the glint of determinedness in her eyes.

"Nobody wants to be alone, Hotch" she said more softly.

He didn't have the energy to argue, so for the second time in a few minutes he felt himself give in.

Emily bit back a grin. 'Yes!' she thought, she was getting somewhere.

"Should we grab a drink?" she suggested.

Hotch considered the question, he hadn't had a drink since before the Foyet attack on his family. He was afraid that once he got started, he wouldn't be able to stop. Dave had invited him out on numerous occasions, but he had steadfastly refused, it wasn't a road he wanted to go down.

But maybe one drink with her wouldn't hurt, it was better than drinking alone. He was confident she wouldn't let him go over the edge, she would hold him back.

But they were on a case, so as tempting as it was, it wasn't even an option.

"We're on a case Prentiss."

"I never said it had to be alcoholic" she replied sarcastically rolling her eyes, but her smile let him know she was joking.

"Just one" he nodded, but his eyes were firm and solemn.

"Just one" she repeated.

Hotch briefly wondered if his hesitance about drinking with Dave was because he didn't want to open up to him, or have to talk about life for awhile. With Emily he felt comfortable, she wouldn't demand answers from him, she would just be there.

Then again, maybe it had nothing to do with her; he just hadn't been ready before now.

The car ride was silent, but not uncomfortably so. They made small talk as they waited for their drinks, not talking about the case or any other heavy topics. For the first time in months Hotch felt relaxed.

"Thanks for doing this, Prentiss." He said awkwardly

"Anytime Hotch."

He nodded before checking his watch again, "I should try calling JJ again."

Emily took another sip of her drink while he pulled out his phone. He had a missed call. Hotch dialled the voicemail, and waited for the message to play.

What he heard made the color drain from his face, and his grip on the phone tighten.

In the background he heard JJ crying out, "Please! Please, don't hurt me!" before a sing song voice came over the line.

"Aaron, Aaron Hotchner. You and Agent Prentiss look like you are having fun. Too bad the same can't be said about the youngest members of your team."

Hotch heard a scream before the line went dead.

He felt the glass slip from his hands, before shattering onto the floor.

* * *

A/N _A cliff-hanger!_

 _Thank you all for reading. Your reviews are like food, so please keep feeding me! I love hearing what you guys think._


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer; I do NOT own criminal minds, only in my dreams are they mine._

 _A/N: Once again thank you to my beta reader GoodGodHenry, for her endless patience in helping me decide that, Hotch and Prentiss were indeed needed in this chapter._

* * *

Emily watched as Hotch froze, his phone seemingly stuck to his ear, with a look of pure panic on his face. Her stomach began to churn, nothing good could have caused a reaction like that. No, it had to be bad, or worse than bad, it must be something downright awful. Emily tried to keep her panic under control, she knew she shouldn't jump to any conclusions, but that was hard to do when Hotch seemed to have gone into another, darker, world.

"Hotch! What's wrong?"

Nothing. He didn't even blink.

"Hotch!" she called again louder, but still she got no response. He was beginning to scare her. She stood and walked around the table towards him, and grabbed his shoulders forcing him to look at her, to just bring his damn phone away from his ear!

"Hotch!" - he was still in shock.

She checked the time, it had been three minutes since the phone call, she needed to get him to snap out of whatever it was that he was in. Taking a deep breath, she began to shake him while calling out to him firmly.

"Aaron, I need you to tell me what's going on!"

His eyes finally darted towards her, still not seeing her, but he seemed to be slowly coming back to reality.

When he spoke it was in a whisper, "He has them!"

The words, mixed with the horror in his voice, sent a shiver down Emily's spine, and her heart faltered. Immediately she knew who he was talking about, but she dismissed the notion. 'It could be anyone' she thought, desperately refusing to accept what she knew in her heart to be the truth.

"Who? Who does he have, Aaron?" her voice was as quiet as his, her eyes pleading for it not to be true.

When he finally met her eyes, there was no need for words, she had the answer.

* * *

JJ opened her eyes, her vision hazy, and her head was throbbing. Forcing herself to focus, she took in her surroundings. She was bound tightly, by her wrists and ankles, to a chair that was sitting in the middle of the room. The restraints were made from thick rope, that had a way of chaffing any skin it came into contact with, whether she moved or not.

The room itself looked as if it was designed for a small child; with its soft lilac walls that were cut in half by a wraparound butterfly border. There was a large doll house in one corner, neatly finished with all the pieces carefully arranged inside it. A toy box stood against the wall near to where JJ was sitting, she could see that the wood had been carefully engraved with different scenes from various fairy tales. JJ could also make out an engraving on the lid, it looked like it could be initials, but the room was too dimly lit for her to read it.

The only light JJ had, came from a nightlight in the shape of a butterfly that was plugged into the wall near the bed. The bed itself, wasn't really a bed, it looked more like a crib that had been turned into a toddler bed; the high dark wooden railing was against the wall, while on the other side the railing was only half the length and height, its only function to keep the child from rolling off. The bed was finished with a purple, butterfly themed comforter.

JJ couldn't figure out why she was here, or what the meaning of the children's theme was. Were they even still at the research lab?

JJ hadn't seen Spencer, and her panic increased, 'where was he?'. Her eyes darted around the room again, as if this time she would see something she had missed previously, and that Spencer was just hiding somewhere. She began tugging at the restraints, ignoring the pain that this action elicited, desperately trying to find a way out.

The tears began to well up in her eyes. She had to find him, they couldn't be separated, how would she protect him now.

Just as she was about to call out for help, the door slammed open, and the unsub walked in.

His eyes were a strange shade of green, that seemed to pierce through JJ's soul, causing her to shudder. A large smirk was spread across his face, contorting it into a sadistic look of pleasure. He was enjoying himself. Immensely.

"Agent Jareau, it's a pleasure to meet you, can I call you JJ?" he said almost conversationally. "Your agent title won't matter much after I'm through with you."

JJ gritted her teeth, trying not to respond to the thinly veiled threat. Instead she began pulling on her restraints with more strength.

"I'm so happy you could join me, I've waited a long time for this." He crooned at her.

"What do you want?" JJ spat out.

"Now, now Jennifer. That's no way to speak to someone." he said warningly as he moved toward her.

Before she could react, he landed a hard backhanded blow to her cheek. The metalic taste of blood immediately filled her mouth, and she fought not to cry out.

"You have so much to learn, but I see we need to add manners to the list!" he said eyeing her intently.

"What do you want?" JJ asked again, defiantly, only to be met with another strike to her cheek.

"What did I just say?" he snarled at her. The second blow had left her slightly dazed, and momentarily unable to answer. "Seems like your father still has a lot to teach you!"

"My father?" JJ asked bewildered.

"Agent Hotchner, of course."

"He's not my father!" JJ said firmly, though her mind was laced with confusion. 'Why would he think that?'

"Isn't he?" the unsub sang, "He most certainly cares about you, and you care a great deal what he thinks of you. You follow his every word."

"He's my boss!" JJ yelled, "Of course I follow his orders."

"Now Jennifer, watch your tone, and don't argue with me. I've seen the way he acts towards you, and the young Dr Reid."

"You've been watching us?" JJ asked, she couldn't help but wonder how long he had gone unnoticed by them.

"Oh, most definitely. Why else would I have chosen you? You and Dr Reid need my help."

JJ was dumbfounded. This unsub was clearly delusional, and suddenly JJ was unsure about pushing him.

"You, sweet little JJ, have been through so much. Having to carry so many burdens on your shoulders, yet nobody was there to take care of _you_. It's only fair that you get a chance to start over."

"What do you mean start over?" JJ asked brusquely, giving another firm tug on the ropes. 'Screw not pushing him', she thought obstinately, 'I need answers.'

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves there, darling. "The unsub smirked, and went on tauntingly, "There's so much to do before then," before he landed another, unexpected, blow to her cheek.

This time JJ struggled to bite back tears of pain.

"Tell me, JJ, how do you feel?"

"About what?" JJ hissed.

Another, harder, blow followed.

"About your feelings; now, about your childhood, the members of your team. All of them!" He yelled.

"No!"

"No?"

"I'm not giving you what you want!" JJ answered defiantly.

"I'm starting to lose patience with you, Jennifer."

JJ merely stared at him.

"Very well, have it your way." the unsub sighed. He then went on, landing punch after punch; first to JJ's face, then moving on to her stomach, leaving her winded and struggling for breath. The tears were flowing freely now.

"Ready to try now?" the unsub asked glaring at her.

JJ shook her head, partly because she couldn't breathe, and partly because she wasn't giving in.

"You are more stubborn than I thought." he stated, turning away from her, and walking toward the dresser.

JJ's eye was beginning swell, and he was facing away from her, so she was unable to see what he was doing. When he turned back, JJ saw a large syringe in his hand. Her eyes widened, and she began to struggle with renewed vigour at her restraints.

"I guess it's time to try another method." he sneered, as he slowly made his way closer to her. "This should make you more compliant!". As he spoke he brought the syringe down, and plunged it straight into her heart.

JJ let out an ear piercing scream, as the burning sensation filled her chest, and spread throughout her body, eventually causing her to pass out. Her last thought was of Spencer, hoping that he was faring better than she was.

* * *

Hotch glanced at Emily, she was barrelling towards the police station, sirens blaring, her face almost unreadable. To an outsider she would appear to be emotionless; but he could tell from her frown lines that she was agitated and uneasy. Her pursed lips told him that she was fiercely determined, and hell bent on finding this guy.

Hotch didn't know _how_ he knew these little things about her, only that he _did_. He chalked it up to the fact that they had been working together for five years. Wasn't it only reasonable, and inevitable, that he would be able to read her?

Before his thoughts could stray further from the more pressing matter at hand, Garcia's cheery voice filled the car, "What can I do for you, my fearless leader?"

Hotch snorted, earning a raised eyebrow from Prentiss, and mentally rolled his eyes. He was anything _but_ fearless right now; Fear was filling every bone in his body.

'This couldn't be happening, not to him, not again!' he thought desperately. A sudden rage swept through Hotch at the unfairness of his life.

"Garcia, I need you to trace Reid and JJ's phones, and give me a location!" his voice held a noticeable edge.

"Sure, but sir, why am I doing this?"

"Just do it, Garcia!" He barked at her. For a couple of seconds only the sounds made from the clicking of the keyboard filled the car, before there was a beat of silence.

The panic stricken voice of Garcia shattered any hope Hotch may still have been hanging on to. "Their phones are dead, I can't find them!"

"Damnit Garcia! That's not good enough!" He roared, slamming his fist down onto the dashboard. Prentiss jumped at his unexpected anger.

"What's going on?" Garcia asked, her voice quivering.

Emily shot Hotch a glare, 'He really didn't need to go off on Penelope like that', before she answered.

"We don't know Garcia."

* * *

Reid woke up in a similar position to JJ, the only difference was that he was in a room decorated specifically for boys; it was filled with cars and trains.

Reid immediately looked around for JJ, his heart clenching when he couldn't find her. He hadn't been able to stop the unsub in time.

The effort of looking around left him feeling exhausted. His bones were aching, they felt as if they were being compressed. Reid felt like crying, the drug was making it difficult for him to control his emotions - they were all over the place. All he could think about was how JJ was right, they should have called for backup. Hotch would never have let anything happen to them, he would have protected them. He hoped Hotch would find them, he swore he would do better next time.

He needed Hotch and Emily, he didn't know why them specifically, but he did. This was extremely confusing for Reid, he was mad at them, and it wasn't like they could do anything differently to the rest of the team. But Reid sensed that it was whatever he had been injected with, that was making him feel insecure.

He once again tried to get loose to look for JJ, but he couldn't. He let out a frustrated moan, and with his chin resting on his chest, he dropped his head. It wasn't long before it snapped up again.

He had heard a loud scream. His heart dropped into his stomach, and a lump formed in his throat.

It was JJ.

He hadn't had a chance to ponder about what was happening to her for long, when the door suddenly crashed open, causing Spencer to jump.

"Dr Reid! You're awake, how are you feeling? Are the drugs starting to work? You should start feeling your bones beginning to shrink." The unsub rambled on, in a tone that Reid could best describe as excited.

"What are the drugs supposed to do?" Reid asked in an attempt at remaining calm.

"They are going to help give you a second chance"

"A second chance at what?"

"At childhood! From my research, you never really had much of one the first time around." The unsub said shaking his head sadly, as if Reid's life was of utmost importance to him.

Reid was bewildered; Was the unsub planning on keeping him here forever? How did he know about his childhood? If he was the target what had he done with JJ? Surely the team would find them before it was too late. His mind was racing with a million questions, and through numerous possibilities, at a dizzying speed.

The unsub merely smirked at the muddled expression on Reid's face. "Don't bother trying to understand it Doctor. You aren't going to remember anything when I'm through with you anyway."

Reid involuntarily gulped.

"Now then," The unsub continued, "let's see if you are more cooperative than your fellow agent."

"What happened to JJ?" Reid squeaked out.

Reid felt a stinging slap across his cheek, that immediately caused tears to spring to his eyes. "Don't interrupt!" he growled, "And don't worry about your partner, I'm going to take care of her."

At this declaration, Reid felt a rush of emotion, mainly fear, spread throughout his body. The tears began to fall down his cheeks.

"Tell me, Dr Reid, how do you feel right now?"

Reid glared at the unsub, why was he asking him that.

"I'm waiting Spencer, tell me about your emotions." He said warningly, before wagging his finger in front of Reid's face, adding, "Don't you dare lie to me, and I can always tell, or I can promise you that Agent Jareau will suffer."

Reid remained silent, looking at the floor. The unsub gave him another slap to the cheek, causing Reid to cry out in pain. His tears began to flow more earnestly.

"Don't make me repeat myself!" the unsub yelled, making Reid wince.

Reid desperately tried to get his crying under control, so he could speak. "I..I'm s..sc..scared." He finally managed to stutter out.

"Good! Keep going!" the unsub barked.

"I...I'm worried about JJ?" Reid mumbled, but it was a question, more than a statement.

This enraged the unsub "I told you not to worry about her!" He roared, lifting his arm to take another swing at Reid. Before he could bring his hand down, Reid cried out loudly, "Wait! Wait! I'm sorry, I won't do it again"

The unsub seemed to calm immediately, he stopped and nodded. "Good! But we still have some work to do on you. I think it's time for another dose of medicine."

"No! No! Please, I'll be good!" Reid begged. But the unsub ignored him, and Spencer's world went black.

* * *

A/N: _Another cliffhanger!_

 _But at least there is a little bit of insight into the unsub. I couldn't decide if I wanted Hotch and Emily in this chapter but then I realised I couldn't not have them. We do want them together don't we?_

 _Please Please leave reviews, Tell me what you think so far, love/hate it. Also feel free to send in any suggestions about what you want to see going forward._

.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N _Thank you once again GoodGodHenry for being my Beta, and helping me edit and re-edit this chapter._

* * *

48 HOURS SINCE THE ABDUCTION

Hotch sat on the bed in his hotel room. The team had come back for a quick shower, and change of clothes. He had told them to at least try and get a few hours of sleep, they all needed it desperately. But, Hotch sighed, he knew he was wasting his breath; He definitely couldn't sleep, so he doubted his team would be able to either. How could they when two of their friends were God knows where, probably being tortured or, and he sucked in his breath, dead.

Damn it, he thought, as he ran his hand down his face. He should be out doing something, anything, to try and find them. Not just sitting here pathetically, doing absolutely nothing. But they had no leads. The unsub, and Hotch hated to admit it, was good. He hadn't left a single clue behind. They were getting nowhere, and it was beginning to takes its toll on him, and the team. Hotch could see that Morgan was barely holding his anger together.

Hotch's mind flashed back to the previous day. Morgan and himself had spent going on twelve hours interrogating the head researcher from the lab. He was the last person JJ had spoken to, or so they had thought. The Doctor had denied having ever spoken to her, or that he even knew the FBI was investigating his lab. More importantly he claimed the lab didn't offer fertility treatment. Of course they hadn't believed him, not even for a second - They had the website as proof. After pounding him with question after question, interrogation technique after interrogation technique, Morgan had lost his patience. He grabbed the man by the collar, and slammed the "lying son of a bitch" into the wall. Given more time, Hotch was sure he would have started using his fists to do some serious damage in order to get answers. The sad thing was Hotch knew he wouldn't have stopped him.

In fact, he probably would have joined him.

Before things could go too far, Emily had burst into the room and called them out with new information, saving them both from crossing that very thin blurred line.

Garcia had gone through JJ's calls, and the last number she had called was in fact NOT to the research lab. It was to a disposable cell-phone, that had since been turned off. To top it off Garcia had also found that the website the victims had visited was not real, rather it was a dummy sight created solely to find new victims. The unsub had used the name of the lab as a front, it was all part of an elaborate decoy to send them chasing down useless leads.

They had run straight into a dead end, and now they were back to nothing. Hotch's head was pounding, he felt as if he had very literally slammed into a brick wall.

Hotch grabbed two aspirins, swallowing them dry, before closing his eyes. He needed something stronger. He had once again failed at protecting the people he cared about. He didn't deserve to be a leader, or he thought cynically, to be in any sort of relationship, romantic or friendship. Everyone he came into contact with got hurt, and he wasn't sure how much more he could take, the guilt was threatening to suffocate him. He should just do what Gideon had done, and disappear. Everyone would be better off.

Not that this was the only reason he shouldn't lead the team anymore, the fact that he even entertained the idea of violence toward a suspect was enough to make him doubt himself. It was against the law, and in that moment he hadn't cared.

God, he thought, JJ and Reid had looked up to him. When his brain registered his use of the word _had,_ he abruptly stood up. What the hell was wrong with him? He didn't even know if they were dead yet, and here he was thinking of them in the past tense, while sitting on his bed feeling sorry for himself. As if he hadn't been doing a lousy enough job already.

Shit, he needed to pull himself together and find them. Preferably legally!

He just prayed they could hang on.

He had put so much on JJ the last couple of months, and to her credit she had risen to all his expectations, but he knew she was in a dangerous place. She was so vulnerable lately, and she looked as if she could break at any moment. He rubbed a hand down his face again.

His sweet, young JJ, had so much more to deal with than the rest of his team. She was the one who had to choose which cases to take, and she dealt with all the emotional family members. Not to mention she took care of the behind the scenes grunt work that allowed the team to focus on their jobs. He took her for granted, they all did.

Morgan and Reid had treated her like crap lately, especially Reid. It was slowly eating away at her. She was tough there was no doubt about that, but still, she shouldn't have to deal with _everything_. Hotch swore over his own dying body that he would try harder next time, he would stand up for her more.

Though, Hotch had a suspicion that their abduction would resolve the tension anyway.

Hotch knew Morgan would come around, he was protective over his team. Besides Morgan was mainly angry that it was affecting Reid so badly. Hotch had always admired the lengths Morgan would go to in order protect Reid, they were definitely close.

Reid could be more stubborn. So if he hadn't come around after this, which was unlikely, Hotch would most certainly put a stop to Reid's behaviour - usually a stern enough scolding would do the trick. But that would only happen after they were rescued, and he was one hundred percent sure they were okay.

'Ah Reid', Hotch sighed, he was so young, barely and adult. No, that wasn't true, he was an adult, but he was still so young with so much to learn. Hotch worried how this would affect him; how much more could Reid take, and how was Hotch going to help him through it. Life had not been very fair to Reid, but then it hadn't been fair to any member of his team, he thought bitterly. He promised he would do better this time, he wouldn't let Reid spiral out of control again; he would take care of both of them.

'Please God, let me find them' he whispered a pray. But he was cynical, was there even a god? And if there was what type of god let things like this happen?

His anger blazing once again, Hotch was ready to get back to work. He stood up and marched towards the door, grabbing his suit jacket off the back of the chair. He threw the door open, and almost collided with a teary eyed Emily.

His heart stopped, had she heard something he hadn't? Were JJ and Reid okay?

"Prentiss, what's wrong?" he asked "Is it JJ and Reid?"

She shook her head, and wiped away some tears.

"I'm having a bad day." she whispered.

* * *

Emily had spent the last hour thinking about everything that had happened over the last couple of days. The worry was driving her insane. All she could think about was what JJ and Reid were going through, physically she knew they could pull through, but psychologically? She shook her head, she didn't want to go down that road, the team would help them get through it.

She felt a pang of guilt, this must have been how the team felt when she had taken off to confront Doyle on her own, and now, she felt incredibly selfish. The not knowing made everything ten times worse. Emily had felt sick with fear since they found out about the abduction, she had no idea what was happening to them, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. They were probably being tortured, that was _if_ the unsub was sticking to his previous MO, and as bad as it was she hoped they _were_ being tortured. It was better than the alternative.

When Emily was on the run to find Doyle, she had been frightened, and alone, but she knew she had to do it. To an extent she had had a choice, her or the team. She had also known what she was potentially walking into. But the entire time she had had something to hang on to. While Doyle had tortured her, and even when she was on the run, Emily had known the team would find her. It wasn't hard to believe that they would dig deep enough to put the pieces together and come to her rescue. She had been comforted by the thought that they would come, and eventually it would all be over.

JJ and Reid probably where holding on to the same hope she had, that they would be found, that the team was coming. Emily wasn't sure they would be able to hang in there without that small glimmer of hope.

What sucked… and no she couldn't come up with a better word to explain the situation... was that they had absolutely NO idea how to find them.

She choked back a sob, she was having a bad day. Then she remembered the promise she had made to Hotch. He had told her to come to him if she was having a bad day. She knew he would comfort her, in fact just being near him would be enough for her. Not that she would ever tell him that. And maybe, just maybe if she opened up to him, he would open up to her.

So she got up, and made her way to his room.

She was just about to knock on his door when it flew open, startling her. She was so close to him, that she had a brief moment of temptation, where she thought about how easy it would be to wrap her arms around him and cry into his shoulder. But she didn't, she fought the urge, that would not be appropriate.

Jeez Emily, he's your boss, get it together, she mentally berated herself.

Emily saw the worry that immediately sprung into his eyes as he saw her tears, and she felt a stab of guilt for making him panic. But she didn't apologise, instead she shook her head at his question, and blurted out "I'm having a bad day!"

It took Hotch a second to register her words. 'Was she serious?' he thought angrily. She was coming to him because she was having a crappy day? Well, she can join the club, because his day hadn't been filled with sunshine and roses either.

"What exactly do you want me to do about it?" he bit out harshly, fixing her with a steely glare.

Emily was taken aback, she was not, repeat NOT, expecting that response. "Nothing" she mumbled, trying not to cry.

"So why are you here?"

"You told me to come to you when I was having a bad day" She answered, picking her nails, staring at the ground, unable to stop the few tears running down her cheeks.

"We need to find Reid and JJ, we don't have time to talk about our feelings, Prentiss. Pull it together or get off the case!" He responded scathingly, before pushing past her to call the others, and tell them it was time to get back to work.

Emily stood frozen in place. His rejection was like a slap in the face. She had opened up to him, and he had shat all over her. Emily huffed, if she wasn't having a crappy day before she definitely was now. Okay, so maybe coming to him wasn't a good idea.

Great, she sighed, things were going to be super awkward now.

Emily did not want to be taken of the case, or let this little spat distract her; So she pushed her emotions back into the boxes they came from, and tried to brush off Hotch's behaviour. He was upset and scared, so he lashed out, it wasn't personal, she told herself.

* * *

A few hours later the team was back at the police station going through everything they had on the case, which sadly wasn't much.

Morgan was frustrated, and his temper was running high. He was ready to punch anyone that so much as looked at him funny, and the officers at the station were not helping his mood. They needed to find JJ and Reid, it had been too long as it was. He couldn't live with himself if they didn't make it.

"We need to catch a break." Morgan said clenching his fist, feeling useless.

"I know." Hotch answered seriously, feeling just as helpless as him. However, Hotch was definitely much more in control of himself now than he had been over the last couple of days.

"How did he know who you were, and what you were doing?" Rossi asked Prentiss and Hotch, the question had been nagging on all of their minds for the last two days.

"I have no idea, maybe he's been watching us." Prentiss answered feeling unnerved, how long had he gone unnoticed by them? They were trained FBI agents for goodness sake.

She had no clue why the unsub had singled out her and Hotch, but she didn't like it. Even though things were tense between them now, she still didn't think he deserved this. Hadn't he been through enough?

"What's his motive?" Rossi questioned, after a moment of silence. "And why JJ and Reid? Are they victims of opportunity or was it planned?"

"It's the missing piece, it has to be." Morgan muttered, resting his head on his hands.

Hotch replayed the conversation with the unsub in his mind, unfortunately that included JJ's scream. "He specifically said the ' _youngest_ ' members of the team, so I think it was intentional." Hotch answered Rossi, with a hint of accusation in his voice.

If they had just let him call them, maybe this could have been prevented.

"There was no way we could have known, man" Morgan said picking up on Hotch's tone.

Hotch shot Morgan a glare, "We should have, but you were all so eager to get out of here that you didn't even spare them a thought." Hotch said icily.

Morgan shot out of his seat, and was in front of Hotch in the blink of an eye. "What did you just say to me?"

"You heard me."

"This was not my fault." Morgan spat out. The two of them were standing toe to toe.

"Morgan, I am your Supervising Agent, I suggest you step back." Hotch said with a tone as sharp as a knife.

"Don't start that bullshit with me! You haven't been much of a leader lately." Morgan responded just as angrily.

Punches were about to fly, so Rossi decided it was time to step in. "Aaron, Derek, I think you two need to cool off." He said firmly, stepping between them.

Before either of them could reply, Officer Danning burst into the room, and breathlessly called out "Agent Hotchner, an envelope addressed to you and Agent Morgan, was just dropped off!"

Hotch's eyes snapped toward the young man, he grabbed the envelope, and not so gently ripped it open. He looked up to his team, "It's a video!"

"Get a player in here fast!" Morgan ordered the officer, who scurried to do as he was bid.

"I've got a bad feeling." Emily murmured quietly.

Once the video player was set up, the team gathered around to watch. The first thing they noticed was the room, it was warm, and decorated for a young child.

Odd!

Then JJ appeared on the screen she had been badly beaten. Her one eye was swollen shut and her lip was split, blood was smeared all over her face, making the tear tracks evident. Hotch's heart sank, and his stomach lurched. God she looked awful. He heard Emily gasp from somewhere nearby.

"Where's Reid!" Morgan demanded, though to who he didn't know.

"Hello agents!" A hoarse, crackly, voice come from the video. "I'm sure by now you are desperately wondering what has been happening to your baby agents."

The team shared a look, 'baby'? What was he talking about?

"Agent Morgan, your 'Pretty Boy', Dr Reid is still alive." Morgan stared wide eyed at the screen, how had the unsub known that was what he had asked just moments before. Morgan glanced around the room, irrational as it was, he was making sure the unsub wasn't there with them.

"Don't worry, Agent Morgan, I'm not anywhere near you." the unsub continued tauntingly, "I've been watching you, and it's clear that Dr Reid means more to you than Agent Jareau does."

Morgan's fists clenched again, that wasn't true!

"Don't bother denying it, Derek, even JJ here knows it's true! You, and your team seem to go extra lengths to ensure Dr Reid's wellbeing. Not one of you bothers with JJ, especially you and Dr Reid, Agent Morgan."

They all froze as the masked unsub walked towards JJ, and jerked her head backwards, causing her eyes to fly open from the pain. "Jennifer, do you have something to say to Agent Morgan, and your team?" The unsub cooed at her.

"No" JJ gritted out, still defiant, "They _will_ find me. I don't have to talk to them through a camera."

The unsub yanked her arm back harshly. The team watched horrified as they heard her bone snap. JJ let out an anguished scream of pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." JJ cried through her tears. Emily winced, and fought back her own tears.

"Good, now tell Agent Morgan what you wanted to say." The unsub commanded, while yanking her head up so she was looking at the camera. The tears could clearly be seen as they ran down her face.

"Derek, I'm so sorry." JJ cried out, the unsub had jerked her arm further back. "I tried to stay with Spencer. We never split up, it wasn't like last time. Please don't be mad!" She sobbed out. "Please Hotch, you need to find Spencer, you need to help him." JJ added before dissolving into uncontrollable tears.

The unsub returned to the front of the camera, blocking JJ from view. "Look, look what you've done!" he yelled at them. "Jennifer's the one being tortured, and she's apologizing to _you_ , as if it were her fault! Soon she will have a second chance, the drugs are starting to work!"

His last proclamation left the team with a sinking feeling, 'What drugs?'

The screen went blank for a few seconds, before Reid appeared in front of the camera. He didn't look as battered as JJ had, but he was unconscious.

"See agents, 'Pretty Boy" is just fine, I can't promise how long it will last though. Daddy Hotchner, you better find them soon. You are already responsible for the death of one child, you don't want an added two on your conscious, now do you?"

Hotch clenched his jaw, and his body stiffened. This guy was taunting them, and he had just made it a lot more personal.

"Agent Hotchner you should try and find them quickly, they've been asking for you!" The camera moved closer to Reid, and they could clearly hear his mumbling, "Come find me Hotch. Emily help me."

Emily felt as if a truck had slammed into her, and she knew what that really felt like. Reid was calling out to her for help, and there wasn't a thing she could do. Her empathy for Hotch doubled, this must have been what it felt like with Jack, probably so much worse, and this guy was rubbing salt into that already deep wound.

Emily chanced a glance at Hotch, he was pale but unnervingly calm.

Then Emily heard it, the words made the hair on the back of her neck stand up, and sending a chill through her body, "Oh, Agent Prentiss, I should warn you, they are going to need you when I'm done with them."

Then the video ended, just like that. Morgan smashed his fist into the wall; he couldn't control his anger any longer.

They stood there in silence for a few moments, none of them in any position to speak. Emily was too horrified at what she had just heard and seen, while Hotch and Morgan felt as if their souls had been ripped open. How was this guy doing this?

Eventually, Rossi broke the silence, "At least we know he plans on returning them." Though he had meant this as a way of easing their concern, it didn't really help. If anything it made him feel worse, what more did the unsub plan on doing to them.

Rossi's words were enough to snap the others back into action, "Yeah, but in what condition?" Morgan asked bitterly.

Rossi gave him an understanding look, but continued, starting with the question that had him the most perplexed, "Why did he refer to Hotch as 'Daddy', and JJ and Reid as 'babies'?"

"I don't know," Emily blew out, "Maybe because they are the youngest and Hotch is the leader, so now he has a twisted version of us as some sort of family. It also explains why they are in children's rooms."

They all nodded in agreement. It was creepy.

"He has definitely got a vendetta against us, why else would he have gone to so much trouble to learn so much about us. He is playing on our weaknesses." Rossi mused.

The room was silent again, nobody knew how to respond to that. Morgan was the first to speak up. "It's true." He muttered into his hands, "I did blame JJ for Reid's abduction, and the fallout of Emily's return. I agreed with Reid, I was so mad at her."

"Derek…" Emily tried to break in

"No!" He said stopping her. "JJ shouldn't be the one apologising, I'm the one who should be. I took out all my anger on her, she was the easiest scapegoat. She should be asking for help." He said firmly, holding back tears, "for herself!" he added in a broken whisper.

"Derek, that's in the past. She knows you care about her." Rossi weighed in.

"No, didn't you hear the man; they both _knew_ my first concern would be for Reid!"

"That's not true, we all would have asked that question." Emily said, and she meant it.

Morgan shook his head, "Doesn't mean it's not true."

"Morgan!" Hotch barked, "The unsub is playing games with us, don't let him distract you."

While he had been talking Hotch had dialled Garcia, so before Morgan could argue further, her anxiety filled voice broke into the room.

"Have you found them?" she demanded, lacking her usual bubbliness.

"Sorry PG, not yet!" Emily sighed, wishing she had better news for her friend. "Have you gotten any hits from their phones, or their car, yet?" She asked hopefully.

"No!" Garcia answered stricken. "They are both dead, and that makes it impossible for me to trace. But I'll know straight away if they do come on. Oh! I didn't mean _they_ are dead, no, no, I just meant the phone and the car..."

"Garcia," Hotch interrupted before she could ramble on, "I need you to go through the video, frame by frame, to try and see if there are any clues."

"Video, what video?" Garcia blurted out.

"The unsub just sent it to us." Hotch answered calmly.

"Why don't I know these things! I'm on it, just bring them home!" Garcia cried out, sounding flustered.

"Baby girl, the video is really bad. So be strong for me, okay Mama?"

* * *

A/N _So we have Hotch being a jerk!_

 _Please keep reviewing, I really appreciate them!_


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Another HUGE thank you to my Beta reader, GoodGodHenry who is a Huge help.

* * *

 _11 year old JJ stared at her sister's necklace, it was the best present ever! She was thrilled, her sister had never even let her touch it before, and now she had given it to her. Finally, she could be just like Rosaline. JJ hadn't even stopped to consider why her sister had had such a sudden change of heart about the necklace. JJ had put it on immediately, Ros had always gotten so mad if she asked to wear it._

 _That evening when their mother called them down for dinner, JJ was still beaming. "Where's Ros?" JJ asked her mother when she didn't see her sister at the table. "She's probably still busy with homework, have you done yours?" Her mother asked as she was setting the plate of food on the table, not yet looking up at her younger daughter._

" _Yup!" JJ answered happily, clutching the necklace in her hand._

" _What's that on your neck?" Her mother asked sharply when she finally looked up at JJ, her eyes laced with suspicion._

" _It's Ros' necklace, she gave it to me!" JJ told her mother excitedly, completely unaware of the change in her mother's tone._

 _Upon having JJ confirm her suspicions, Sandy Jareau's expression changed so suddenly, that her daughter didn't even have a chance to fully understand what was going on. "Take it off!" She barked, causing JJ to jump slightly._

" _But mom…"_

" _It's not yours, I said take it off!"_

 _JJ was confused about why her mother was suddenly so mad at her, but she had no choice but to obey._

" _Give it back to Rosaline!" Her mother ordered, once she had taken it off._

 _JJ huffed, but did as she was told, trudging her way back up the stairs. When she got to Ros' room she threw the door open, while wailing to her sister, "Mom says I have to give the necklace back to you!"_

 _What JJ saw made her heart stop in her chest, the image searing itself into her mind. In that moment JJ knew her world had come tumbling down, nothing was ever going to be the same again._

 _She stared into the lifeless eyes of her sister, her body hanging from the bathroom door._

 _JJ let out a scream._

 _She ran towards her sister, calling out to her frantically, "Ros wake up, Ros please. Please don't leave me." before she dissolved into tears._

 _Her mother had gasped when she finally arrived, pushing JJ out of the way, she ran straight to her oldest daughter._

" _Jennifer, call 911!" but JJ was in shock, and she couldn't make herself move._

" _Don't just stand there!" Sandy Jareau yelled, "Do something!"_

 _The rest of that day had gone by in a blur, the paramedics rushing in, followed by the police. JJ and her mother were questioned for what felt like hours. But what JJ remembered most about that day, was that she had felt nothing, the emotions had come days later, but on that day she had felt nothing at all._

" _Why did she do it?" JJ asked the police women._

" _She must have been really sad, for a really long time, sweetie." The officer had replied kindly._

 _JJ just nodded, she didn't remember Ros being sad._

" _Were there any signs that she was going to do this?" the officer asked gently._

" _What signs?"_

" _Did she ever do anything that made you think she was really sad, anything out of the ordinary?" The officer continued more specifically._

 _JJ shook her head, but she grabbed the necklace, that was different. She should have noticed it was a sign, maybe if she had Ros wouldn't be dead. JJ vowed right then and there that she would take better notice of people._

 _She would never let someone be this sad again._

* * *

The UnSub smirked while stroking JJ's hair, as she tossed and turned on the bed.

It was working, Agent Jareau was reliving her worst nightmare. The root of her problem, the day she was forced to carry a burden that made her the helpless, pitiful person she was today.

Soon, he would help her forget the memories completely.

He would give her a second chance, she deserved it, and she had done nothing wrong other than feeling as if she had failed others. And it wasn't even her fault, he fumed, others had placed that burden on her. Nobody had even bothered to notice the pain she was in, but he had. He needed to set her free from her pain.

He placed a kiss on her forehead, she needed someone to take care of her.

* * *

 _The night after the funeral, JJ found her mom crying in Rosaline's bedroom. JJ walked over to her, wanting to comfort her mother, but at the same time she had wanted to be comforted as well._

" _Mom" JJ called out, but her mother ignored her. Her mother hadn't said a word to her since the day that they had found her sister._

" _Mom, please talk to me" She begged, "It's just you and me now!"_

 _JJ's father had left when she was younger, he had never been happy with them. He had wanted JJ to be a boy, but instead he had gotten a girl. JJ had always tried her best to make her dad happy, she had done everything a boy would have done. That's how she had fallen in love with soccer._

 _But it still hadn't been enough for her father, and he had left. Deep down JJ knew that it was her fault, and her mother resented her for it._

 _The night after the funeral, and many nights after that, JJ had received no comfort from her mother. She had learned to deal with her grief on her own, going on everyday despite the pain in her chest. Ignoring the emptiness she felt when she remembered her sister wasn't there anymore._

 _Her mother never spoke to her, the only time JJ was ever addressed by her mother was when she was yelling at her._

 _JJ remembered her mother telling her; if she had been a better sister, or if she wasn't so whiny and complained about her feelings so much, or if she hadn't taken the necklace, Rosaline would still be alive._

 _Laden with guilt, JJ wished she could go back and try harder for her sister, but she couldn't. JJ added to her vow, no matter how she felt, others needs had to come before her own, always! She had to make everyone else happy!_

 _JJ had never felt so alone, but she ignored it, she had to take care of her mom. JJ needed to make sure her mom was okay, she didn't have time to worry about herself._

 _She became self-reliant, eventually working herself into the FBI. Her main aim upon joining the Bureau, was to help those who couldn't help themselves. She would do whatever she could to help the victims, her own feelings didn't matter to her, that's what made her so good at the job._

 _After being in the BAU for a while, JJ realized that the team had become her family. Spencer, and his vulnerability, had sparked a protectiveness in her; she made it her duty to look out for him. To do for him what she couldn't do for her sister._

 _With Hotch and Morgan, she continually tried to prove herself._

 _Hotch had taken to her, and he was the first person to notice her for more than just the work she did. He actually noticed_ _ **her**_ _. He encouraged her, and pushed her, allowing her to accomplish more and more. Despite the pushing, he had prevented her from putting any unnecessary pressure on herself. He would remind her it's okay to be human, to not be perfect._

 _His own ability to seem infallible gave her someone to lean on other than herself, at last._

 _JJ had often wondered if Hotch was how a father should be._

JJ felt a hand stroke her hair, it was Hotch, he was here, and he was talking care of her.

 _When Elle, and then later, Gideon had left, JJ felt that she needed to be the glue that held them team together. They were her family, and she couldn't let them fall apart. Gradually JJ began to take on more of the pressure that seemed to ooze its way into the team. As the amount of responsibility she took on increased, the more she felt that she couldn't break down. She had to be strong._

 _Slowly JJ had let her walls down around Emily, and amazingly Emily was still there. She never got mad, or upset at JJ for letting out her frustrations. She always listened patiently._

 _JJ had found comfort and strength in Emily. Somehow Emily knew when JJ needed someone to talk to, or if she was having a rough day and just needed some comfort. Emily seemed to just know her._

She felt Emily place a kiss on her forehead.

 _JJ was so grateful for that, the little girl in her was happy to finally be noticed, and to have someone care about her again._

* * *

She was ready.

The UnSub grinned evilly as he stood to leave, his plan could come together now. Agent Jareau had finally admitted what he knew all along; she wanted to be a normal little girl, in a normal house, with a normal family.

He knew exactly how to give that to her. He would let her live her life all over again, finally she would let herself be cared for, and it all would happen so much more easily if she was surrounded by the people she already trusted.

Agent Prentiss and Hotchner would become mom and dad.

But before he could complete his plan he needed to get the others into place, and he was going to have so much fun doing it.

Let the games begin.

* * *

 _A/N: I was proud of this chapter, So let me know what you guys think with a quick review..._

 _P.S go check out my Beta's story Foundation._


	7. Chapter 7

The Final Goodbye

 _A/N: I'm sorry for the delay in updating, real life got in the way. I wish I could write continuously, without interruption, but I can't so please bear with me. But this is a nice long chapter for you. I hope you enjoy._

 _Thank you to my Beta reader, GoodGodHenry, for being so patient with me, and helping me make sure everything makes sense._

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, and_ _this chapter in no way reflects my actual feelings on Reid. I love him to bits..._

 _Anything said about Reid is the Unsub's twisted opinion, and interpretation of things._

* * *

Reid's eyes began to flutter open, but it took him a few moments before he was able to fully focus on the room he was in. It was different, this was very definitely a girl's room. Reid noticed that he was no longer tied up, and he began to unconsciously rub at his wrists. They were raw and chafed from where the restraints had cut into him. He slowly tried to get up off of the chair he was sitting on, 'at least it was a comfortable armchair' he thought dryly. Still he was aching everywhere, right down into his bones.

As he stood he felt a wave of dizziness, and he grabbed at the closest object, to keep himself from falling over.

That's when he noticed there was a bed in the room, and he realised he was not alone. A sudden rush of dread washed over him, leaving him momentarily frozen. But then he recognised who it was.

It was JJ!

Reid immediately rushed towards her, he was so unbelievably happy to see her. However, his relief was only momentary, and he stared at her in disbelief, and horror. What had the Unsub done to her? She looked smaller than he remembered, and her face was swollen nearly beyond recognition, it looked like she could possibly have a skull fracture. He noticed that her arm was hanging loosely at her side, the Unsub had broken her arm.

She was in terrible condition, and it broke his heart. He was infuriated, and ready to cry at the same time. JJ didn't deserve this, he should have been able to protect her. Why didn't the Unsub hurt him instead? He wiped the tears from his eyes. They didn't have time to think about 'What ifs', he needed to think of a way to get them out of here.

Gently so not to hurt her any further, he tried to wake her up, "JJ!" he coaxed, "JJ wake up!" But she didn't move.

Panicking, Reid checked her pulse, letting out a sigh of relief when he felt it was still there.

She was alive.

"JJ, please, I need you to wake up!" he said more frantically.

After a few more minutes of his desperate begging, and gentle shakes, she finally began to stir. At first she had just tossed and turned, while mumbling something incoherent. Reid leaned in closely to try and hear what she was saying, but he couldn't make out the words.

"JJ, come on, open your eyes!" he called again with another small shake.

At his touch JJ's eyes flew open, and she darted backwards on the bed until she had herself pressed into the corner against the wall. Her eyes were bright with panic. "Don't hurt me, please, please, I'll be good!"

Reid put his hands up in a placating manner, trying not to frighten her further. "JJ, It's Spence. I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay" he gently reassured, trying to sooth her.

She stared at him blankly for a few moments, before finally blinking as the truth began to dawn on her. "Spence, is it you?" she whispered, wanting the extra reassurance, she needed to make sure it wasn't just her hallucination.

"Yeah Jayje, it's me. I'm here." his words had barely left his mouth before JJ flew into him. She softly cried out in pain when her bad arm collided with him, but with her good arm she hung onto him for dear life.

"You're okay!" she sobbed, "I was so scared he had hurt you. I'm so sorry, Spence, I couldn't make him stop."

Reid blinked back his own tears, "Shh Jayje, I'm fine, it's not your fault." JJ continued to cling to him, and he gingerly rubbed his hand up and down her back. After a few more minutes of listening to her sobs, Reid finally spoke up again, "What did he do to you, JJ?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine." she sniffled, her words muffled in his shoulders.

"But JJ, you're really hurt." Spencer said giving her a broken, dejected look, "He hurt you!"

"This is all my fault, I'm supposed to protect you." She cried pulling away.

"No JJ, it's not! If it's anybody's it's mine. You told me to wait for backup."

"No…" JJ began, but Reid cut her off, "JJ, let's not argue, it's no one's fault."

"I don't feel good, Spence." JJ grabbed onto him again, her tears starting afresh.

"JJ, what did he do to you?" he insisted more firmly.

She sucked in her breath, "He made me…" but she couldn't finish her sentence. A strangled sob came out, and she shook her head. "I just want to go home." she sobbed, "I want mom and dad."

Spencer held her tightly, his own tears soaking into her hair, "Shh, don't cry. I'm going to find us a way out of here. I promise."

The Unsub had been watching the touching scene between the two agents, they hadn't seen him of course. He had let them have their moment together, but now he was going to have his.

"Tut, tut, Dr Reid. You shouldn't make promises you can't keep. There is no way out for you. Well, at least not the way you are now."

Both Reid and JJ jumped at hearing his voice. JJ went back to cowering in the corner, but Reid swung around to face him, throwing himself in front of JJ.

"What do you want from us?" Reid demanded, trying his best not to show how afraid he was.

"It's not what I want from you, Doctor. It's what I am going to _give_ you!"

"Wha… What's that?" Reid stuttered.

"A second chance at life, Spencer." He said casually, as if he were doing Reid a favour. Reid supposed in his mind he probably truly believed that.

Without thinking, Reid blurted out, "How are you going to do that?"

"Don't worry about that Doctor." The Unsub said dismissively.

"Why are you doing this to us?" Reid asked, the tears once again streaming down his face.

The Unsub sighed in exasperation, "Well if you _must_ know, I've been watching you. I know all about your childhood, and how terrible it was. And that's not fair!" He said shaking his head. "So, I'm going to fix it!"

"Why do you have JJ, if it's me you want?"

"Because, Dr Reid, JJ here has had just as much childhood heartache as you have." At Reid's blank stare, the Unsub began to laugh humourlessly, "What? You didn't know?"

"Know what?" Reid asked bewildered.

"Why of course you didn't! Why would you? You are too self-absorbed in your own problems to notice someone else's." The Unsub scoffed.

"That's not true!" Reid whimpered, "JJ's my best friend. I care about her."

The Unsub shook his head, "I don't think that's true, Dr Reid. Why just on the way over here you made her cry." Reid stared at the man incredulously, how did he know that? He _had_ made JJ cry, but he was just mad at her. Okay, so he shouldn't have made her cry, but he was allowed to be mad. But it still didn't mean he wanted to see her hurt, he still cared about her. His eyes began to sting, he loved JJ like a sister.

"And as I've just proven, you know nothing about her childhood." the Unsub continued to jeer.

Reid didn't know what to say as he stared into the Unsub's cold green eyes. Everything the Unsub said had a measure of truth in it; and despite what his intentions were, he couldn't outright deny what the Unsub was saying. As his tears fell more heavily, he realised the Unsub was right. He had been horrible to JJ, and really, he didn't know anything about her life before the BAU.

That was just pathetic, what kind of friend, or brother, was he if he didn't even know the basic details of her life? She knew his, she had wanted to know. Sure, he knew her favourite color, what she liked to eat, and other favourites, but so did every other member of the team. What he knew about her was really just what he could profile about her. This revelation left Spencer feeling sick.

"You see, Dr Reid, my point is, I don't like who you've become." The Unsub let out another sigh, "But it's not your fault."

"Who I've become? But you don't even know anything about me!"

"That's where you're wrong! I've seen you!" the Unsub said becoming agitated. "You are a selfish, inconsiderate young man with a chip on your shoulder. You believe the world has been unfair to you, so now you do as you please. You disregard everyone else's feelings, and you never, _never_ , take responsibility for your actions."

Reid stared at this man, he was taken aback both, by his yelling, and what he had said. Was he really all of those things? Reid sniffled, and wiped at his face, "If I'm what you say I am, then why are you trying to help me?"

"I told you Dr Reid!" the Unsub said, becoming more infuriated. "It wasn't your fault! It was because of your childhood!"

Reid slid closer to JJ, he didn't want to hear what the Unsub had to say anymore, he just wanted to get himself and JJ out of here.

The Unsub watched Reid, and smirked. "You see, Dr Reid, JJ here as the opposite problem to you. She takes on too much responsibility, she never lets anyone take care of her!"

Again, Reid had nothing to say, the Unsub was right. The Unsub was disgusted by him, and Reid was just as revolted with himself. JJ was always strong, and there for everybody. Reid turned to look at her, why had he never thought to take care of her?

The Unsub watched Reid begin to weep, "Don't cry Spencer, you can make it up to her." He cooed, with surprising sympathy, "This time around you are going to get a chance to take care of her."

Reid ignored him, he no longer cared about what he said.

"Now," the Unsub said clapping his hands together to get Reid's attention, "Let us start!"

"Start what?" Reid whispered, fear oozing into his voice.

The Unsub roughly grabbed Reid and forced him into the chair that was placed in the middle of the room, directly in front of a video recorder that Reid had failed to notice before. Switching it on, and taking a seat in his own chair, the Unsub turned to Reid, "Let's record a message for Agent Prentiss and Agent Hotchner back at the station. It's only fair to give them an update on how you are doing."

"What do you want me to say?" Reid asked sceptically, he doubted it was a simple message to let them know he was okay. He wasn't okay, and neither was JJ, not by a long shot.

"I want you to confess, Dr Reid."

"Confess to what?"

"Don't play games with me, Spencer!" the Unsub sneered at him, raising his voice with each word.

"I'm not! I don't know what you want me to say." Reid cried, leaning as far back as the chair would allow.

The Unsub got up from where he was sitting, and walked toward a still cowering JJ. Before Reid could say anything in protest, the Unsub had harshly yanked her up by her hair. JJ yelped in pain, causing Reid to try and get to her. He had barely shifted in his seat when the Unsub called out to him menacingly.

"Sit down, Doctor, and start confessing! Or else JJ over here is going to get hurt."

Reid gulped and blinked away his tears. He didn't know what to say, but he knew he had to say something. He couldn't allow the Unsub to hurt JJ, she was already in so much pain. If the Unsub wanted him to confess to something he would start with her. He would apologize to JJ, after everything the Unsub had said earlier he knew she deserved that much from him.

Speaking through his tears he began, "JJ, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't a better friend to you!"

"Spence… Don't!" JJ cried out interrupting him, causing the Unsub to wrap his hands around her neck, cutting off her air, and silencing her.

"No!" Reid yelled, "Don't hurt her, I'll continue… Just please don't hurt her!" He begged. The Unsub slowly released his grip on JJ.

Seeing the nod of the Unsub's head for him to continue, Reid ploughed on. "JJ, I shouldn't have blamed you for everything! You're my best friend! You're the only person in the world who calls me Spence."

Reid quickly sucked in a breath, to control a sob that threatened to erupt, before he continued, "You mean so much to me JJ, and not once did I ask about your life before the BAU, or even thought about what burdens you may be carrying around!" He stuttered out. "You helped me through everything, and I never even bothered to ask about you!"

Finally gathering all his strength he said "Please believe me JJ, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." before he broke into uncontrollable sobs.

"I do, Spence. I do believe you!" JJ managed to strangle out, before the Unsub once again cut off her air, briefly, before releasing her.

"Very good, Dr Reid!" The Unsub commented, slowly clapping his hands. "I believe you too, and because of that I'm going to give you a whole lifetime to try and make it up to her."

"Just don't hurt her anymore, please." Reid cried.

"That's up to you Doctor, now let's continue."

Reid stared blankly at the Unsub, right then despite his high IQ, his brain was drawing a blank. He couldn't think of anything more to say.

The Unsub began to get impatient, so he decided it was time to give Reid some extra motivation to continue. He pulled JJ off the bed once again, and grabbed her unbroken arm. With a hard yank he snapped her wrist. She screamed, her voice going hoarse, before she started whimpering like an injured puppy.

Reid shut his eyes at JJ's scream. When it was over he simply stared, his mouth agape, he was horrified. "Why did you do that?" He screamed at the Unsub.

"I told you to continue!" The Unsub demanded through clenched teeth. "Begin with Agent Prentiss!" He prompted.

* * *

For half a second more Reid simply stared at the Unsub, he was in a state of shock, but his hesitation was only momentary. "Um...I… ah… Emily I'm sorry" Reid quickly mumbled out, while he desperately searched through his mind for something more to say. He was trying to think of everything he could have possibly done to Prentiss, that the Unsub would deem worthy of apologising for. And he was trying to do it fast, before the deranged Unsub could hurt JJ again.

"I'm sorry, Emily. I'm sorry I was so horrible to you when you first joined the team. You were only concerned about me after Hankel, and you were right to be worried. You knew straight away that I wasn't okay, that I wasn't myself." Reid sniffled, "I shouldn't have been so snappy with you. I was really mean to you, and I never meant to be. I see now that you were only trying to help me." Reid finished his sniffles turning into light crying. The Unsub may have forced him to start apologise, but the more he said, the more he realised that he really was sorry.

His apology was genuine, he only wished he realised that he needed to apologise before. He should have been doing this face to face, and he shouldn't be doing it because his life, well JJ's, was being threatened. Reid knew it made his apology seems insincere. He really needed to make sure that Emily knew how truly sorry he was.

"I'm so happy you are back, Emily!" Reid exclaimed, his eyes moist and his vision blurry, but still he lifted his head so that he was looking directly at the camera, he wanted her to see the sincerity in his eyes. "I didn't know what to do with myself when I thought you were dead." His tears were flowing steadily now, "I always knew I could confide in you, I always knew you would take care of me!"

Reid, wasn't sure how much longer he could keep his crying under control. He had done a lot of sobbing today, he was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Added to that his emotions were already unstable from whatever the Unsub had injected him with. But he kept going, he wanted to apologise properly, and that meant apologising for everything.

"I was so horrible, I was selfish, I never even thought about what you had to go through.' Reid cried, choking on a sob. He hadn't fully understood just how horrible he had been. "Emily, you are part of my family, I'm so sorry!"

The Unsub flung JJ back onto the bed, and moved to stand in front of the camera, blocking Reid from view.

"Look, look what you've done, Agent Prentiss!" The Unsub screamed, startling Reid. "Dr Reid shouldn't be apologising for the fact that _you_ , Agent Prentiss, abandoned him!" the Unsub said bitingly. "Imagine how he must have felt to have been abandoned like that, you were just repeating what his father had done to him."

Reid stared at the Unsub, his own mind trying to digest what the Unsub had said. Was that what Emily had done, was that why he was so mad at her? Reid shook his head, but it wasn't her fault. It wasn't even the same thing. This Unsub couldn't compare Emily to his dad, so Reid broke in.

"No, leave her alone! Emily, it's not true!"

The Unsub turned and backhanded Reid, "No, you didn't deserve to be left like that!" he said cuttingly before turning back to the camera. "You should have been looking out for him agent Prentiss! You _knew_ he was having problems after his abduction, and you did _nothing_ about it. You let him spiral out of control, instead of being the mother he needed!"

"I have a mother!" Reid yelled. The Unsub spun around, and Reid was sure he was going to strike him again. Instead the Unsub just menacingly bit out "Shut up, Dr Reid. You know nothing. Your mother was never able to care for you, she wasn't a real mother."

"No, she was, she did the best she could," Reid said softly, he loved his mom. The Unsub was wrong, it wasn't true.

The Unsub once again turned back to the camera, and continued venomously. "Agent Prentiss you failed him too, just like his mother. Except, Agent Prentiss, you made it so much worse. You _CHOSE_ not to help your friend!" He said yelling out the last part. "You never helped him, never _showed_ him how to act responsibly."

"No, it's not true." Reid sobbed, "She didn't fail me, she tried to help me. Emily, I'm sorry, don't believe him. You were always there for me when you could be!"

The Unsub slammed his fist into Reid's sternum, winding him. "Enough, Dr Reid, she failed you!" He turned back to the camera, "But Agent Prentiss, it seems his loyalty to you remains. I hope you can live up to his expectations the next time around."

* * *

The Unsub switched off the camera. He turned to Reid, and sent punch after punch to his head and face, leaving Reid dazed. "Next time you interrupt me, I break a bone" the Unsub threatened. "Do you understand me?" he demanded. Reid nodded, and winced, the combination of sobbing and the blows to the head made it difficult for him to focus.

"Now then, it's time for your last apology. Oh and Doctor, make it good, this is your final goodbye to the team."

Reid gulped, how could he even begin to apologise. He realised the Unsub was right, he needed to take responsibility. This deranged man was hurting his family because of him. It wasn't fair to them.

The Unsub switched the camera back on, and nodded for Reid to continue.

Looking straight at the camera, Reid began, "I'm sorry you guys, you shouldn't have to go through this." He said through tears, "I always manage to find trouble, and you guys have always saved me. I'm really grateful for everything you've done for me. I'm just sorry I couldn't have been a better person, and friend." He took in a deep gulp of air. "I'm so sorry. JJ's been really, really, hurt." he sobbed just a little bit harder. "Please don't listen to anything he says," Reid pleaded, "You _all_ have been great to me, you've always been there for me." Reid dropped his head, he was pathetic; he didn't know where the Unsub was holding him, and his head hurt too much for him to even attempt to try and give his team a clue on how to find them. He was useless. "I'm so sorry that I've put you through so much." he whispered.

Reid knew that this was his last message to the team, and he wanted to say a proper goodbye. He wanted them to know how much he cared about them, how much he appreciated them, and, he sniffled, how much he loved them.

"Morgan, you've always had my back. Even though you teased me, and sometimes it drove me insane, I knew it was your way of showing me that you loved me. And don't try deny it, I know you love me." Reid said giving a watery smile, at his attempt to joke. "You were always willing to put your life on the line for me, even those times when I would take stupid risks, and put myself in danger." Reid wiped at his eyes, "I never thanked you! So, thank you, Derek. You were like my brother." He choked out, his sobbing out of control again.

Once he had himself under control, Reid continued. "Rossi, thanks for inspiring me. I've always looked up to you. Thank you for always standing with me. I thought the team wouldn't ever be able to be as good without Gideon, but I was wrong, we were even better with you on it."

"Garcia, you always put a smile on my face. Even if I don't always understand everything you say or do, you always managed to make my day a little bit brighter. I'm sorry, I'm sorry you have to watch this."

Reid's voice was getting hoarse, and he was past the point of trying to control his tears. But he had one more goodbye to make, and this was an important one. Hotch…

"Hotch, I'm so sorry for everything. You always took care of me, in more ways than the job required of you. I took you for granted, yet you still guided me, and you taught me so much." Reid paused to get his breath back, and to wipe his eyes again. He wanted Hotch to see the truthfulness in his eyes. "No matter what I did, you never left me. Than..th.. thank you for never leaving me, Hotch." he blubbered, dissolving into tears again. "Hotch without fail, you were there for me. You always understood me, and whatever I did, I knew you would always understand me."

Reid paused, giving himself a chance to breath. He didn't know if he could go on, but he had to. "Hotch, you don't deserve anything that's happened to you!" Reid said as firmly as he could manage. "I'm sorry you have to go through more. I hope you get to be happy one day, Hotch." he sobbed out, and this time he couldn't stop.

The Unsub had watched patiently during Reid's apology, but now it was time for him to step in.

"Look, look what you've done Agent Hotchner. You never taught Dr Reid how to handle his emotions, because _you_ were too afraid to face yours. You failed to protect Spencer and JJ, just like you failed to protect you son."

Grabbing JJ, who was still whimpering quietly, the Unsub positioned himself so that all three of them were in front of the camera. "Alright Dr Reid, say goodbye to Agent Jareau. She hasn't got long left."

Reid vehemently shook his head, "No please, I did what you said, please don't hurt her anymore."

"Chance is over." The Unsub said spitefully, ignoring Reid's pleas. The Unsub reached for another syringe, and plunged it into JJ's neck. He roughly threw her onto the bed, so she was once again out of view of the camera

For a long time she had laid on the bed, and nothing had happened. Reid sent up desperate prayers that she would be okay.

But she wasn't.

After ten more minutes of nothing, she suddenly began to shudder uncontrollably, Reid closed his eyes, he couldn't watch her die.

When he opened his eyes, he saw a little girl who looked _exactly_ like JJ, laying in the _exact_ same place she had been seconds before. She looked no older than three. Reid was horrified, the Unsub had turned JJ into a little girl. How, he had no idea, but it happened right in front of him. He felt the bile rising up in his throat, this couldn't be happening. Reid tore his eyes away from the sleeping child, JJ, to glance at the Unsub.

The Unsub looked delighted, and he picked up the camera turning it show off the little girl. Reid heard him mutter into the camera "It worked! Look at your JJ now, Agent Hotchner."

Then Reid snapped, and yelled at the top of his lungs. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?"

* * *

 _A/N; So, Reid has said his goodbyes, and we have a little JJ. There will be a few more angsty chapters before things start looking up, but we are moving forward._

 _Please, please review and let me know what you think._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A/N: This chapter is Reid's flashback, so we get to see a little bit of insight into him, and what _I_ think makes him tick. I don't like the idea of making William Reid being to much of a bad guy, because dealing with someone who is mentally ill is very challenging if you are not open-minded. That being said, I really hope that this chapter offers a little bit of insight into the fact that mental illness (ALL types) is vey real, and those suffering can't simply get better. It is something that eats away at you and is intolerable for the person living with it, and it always is difficult for the family or friends around them, especially those who can't understand it. Often the people suffering from it don't understand it themselves.

Sorry for the long authors note. Thank you to my beta GoodGodHenry, she was looking forward to this chapter so I hope I did it justice for her.

* * *

 _Reid moved his pillow over his head to try and block out the sounds coming from downstairs. His parents were fighting, again._

 _He didn_ _'_ _t want to have to listen to it, he hated it when they fought;_ _'_ _Why couldn_ _'_ _t they just get along?_ _'_

 _He just hoped that this wouldn_ _'_ _t be the time that things ended badly. It wasn_ _'_ _t unusual for his dad to storm out, slamming the door behind him, before his temper got too out of control. But that was the worst that had happened, so far, and it was bad enough._

 _When Spencer was sure his dad had left, he would creep downstairs. He would find his mom sitting in the corner, frantically hitting at her head, and crying. She would mumble_ _"_ _I_ _'_ _m not sick. I_ _'_ _m not, there_ _'_ _s nothing wrong with me. It_ _'_ _s just a bad day._ _"_ _over, and over again. It would break his heart._

 _He didn_ _'_ _t want his mom to cry._

 _So, Spencer would sit down next to her, and try to hold her. But sometimes she would lash out at him; in extreme cases physically, as well as verbally. He knew she never meant to do it, she was upset and couldn_ _'_ _t help it. He would just hang onto to her more tightly, and didn_ _'_ _t let go until she eventually broke into sobs and stopped._

 _As soon as she realised what she had done, she would immediately begin crying all over again. This time apologising to him,_ _"_ _I_ _'_ _m sorry, Spencer. Mommy didn_ _'_ _t mean to hurt you. I didn_ _'_ _t mean it, I just lost control._ _"_ _She then wrapped him in her arms, and they would cry together. He would murmur into her ear that he loved her, and that she was a great mom, and she didn_ _'_ _t need to change. He would tell her it wasn_ _'_ _t her fault._

 _In those moments, sitting on the floor holding his crying mother, he would hate his father. How could he do this to her? He hated him for making her cry, for making her feel like she wasn_ _'_ _t good enough. He hated him for storming out, and leaving him to comfort his mother, for putting him in the position to take care of her._

 _Yet in the end, no matter how much Spencer hated him in those moments, it wouldn_ _'_ _t last. He was his dad, and he couldn_ _'_ _t hate him. A part of him understood where his dad was coming from. He wanted his mom to get help, and to get better too._

 _He wanted a normal mom, one like the other kids had. And sometimes, deep down, he hated his mom as well. Why was she so stubborn? Why wouldn_ _'_ _t she just get help, if not for herself, then for him? As soon as these thoughts came, Spencer would push them away, he loathed himself for even thinking them._

 _He had read up on mental illness in general, and of course schizophrenia, so intellectually he understood. He understood she couldn_ _'_ _t control herself anymore than he, or his dad, could control her_ _…_ _It didn_ _'_ _t make it easier, but he understood._

 _Ultimately, it was this little bit of understanding that had separated his, and his father_ _'_ _s feelings towards his mother..._

 _His dad believed if his mom tried hard enough she could change herself, she just had to put her mind to it. It was all in her mind, and she just had to_ _'_ _get over it_ _'_ _. Spencer scoffed at this thought; it was all in her mind, yes, but it was an_ _ **illness**_ _that was destroying her mind. It was an illness just as real as cancer, you couldn_ _'_ _t_ _"_ _just get over it_ _"_ _. His father was naive, and he hated it, but sadly his dad wasn_ _'_ _t the only one who had these views. He wished he could educate people on how_ _ **real**_ _mental illness was. One day he would_ _…_ _but for now he just had to do the best that he could for his mom._

 _Night after night, Spencer just held onto to his mom; desperately hoping that something would change, that she would realise if she took her medication it would help, that his dad would come home and realise he needed to take care of her, and Spencer himself. Spencer wanted to be taken of, he didn_ _'_ _t want to have to be the mediator between his parents, and their arguments anymore. He was tired of trying to fix things; that was supposed to be their job._

 _Often Spencer and his mother would fall asleep sitting in the corner, on the floor. When his dad eventually came home, he would help Spencer to bed, and tuck him in. One night, while he was tucking him in, his dad had kissed his forehead and murmured,_ _"_ _I_ _'_ _m sorry. son. I love you, I do, but I don_ _'_ _t know how to help your mother anymore._ _"_

 _Soon after that night his father had left. Spencer was devastated,_ _ **he**_ _hadn_ _'_ _t been enough of a reason for his dad to try harder._ _ **He**_ _wasn_ _'_ _t worth sticking around for, his dad had just left him, with not a backward glance. Spencer had cried himself to sleep many nights after that. Why hadn_ _'_ _t he been enough? How could his dad just stop loving him? How could anyone just stop loving somebody, as if it was just a switch you put on or off. He didn_ _'_ _t understand it, because he couldn_ _'_ _t just_ _'_ _switch off_ _'_ _his love for his father, no matter how hard he tried._

 _Spencer felt as if there was a giant hole inside of him, his dad had taken a piece of his heart with him. Had all those happy times been a lie, was his dad just pretending to care about him? Did all the good memories mean nothing to his father? If so, then Spencer decided they would mean nothing to him too._

 _When things started to get really bad with his mom at home, and then at school, Spencer felt all alone. As much as he knew logically it wasn_ _'_ _t his fault he was different, it didn_ _'_ _t stop the thoughts swirling in his mind that maybe he_ deserved _this life._

 _The bullying at school was unbearable, and humiliating. Nobody accepted him, but then again his own father had left him without a second thought, so why would people who weren_ _'_ _t even related to him care?_

* * *

The Unsub shook his head, just what he expected, Spencer was no different to Jennifer. He craved a normal life. A childhood filled with people to take care of him, to stand up for him…

* * *

 _Spencer had kept his head down, working hard through high school and then college, getting as many PHD_ _'_ _s as he could. It was his way of getting back at his father, and making his mom proud. But more importantly, it was to prove to himself that he_ _ **did**_ _have something to offer to the world._

 _The day he made the decision to put his mom into the mental facility was one of the worst days of his life. It was the hardest decision he ever had to make. It would be destroying her life, by making her go he was taking away everything she held dear. The house had become her safe haven, her place of safety, where she felt some semblance of security in her otherwise tumultuous mind; and he was forcing her out of it, and throwing her into the unknown. He knew how difficult it would be for her, and that made it so much more painful for him._

 _As hard as it had been, he knew it was for the best. It wasn_ _'_ _t fair to allow her to continue suffering from a disease that was slowly eating away at her. He was doing it because he loved her, and that made the decision easier to live with. It was at this point in his life that Spencer finally let go of his father completely. The man wasn_ _'_ _t worth his time, or heartache. Making the decision to help his mother, had made him a stronger man than his father ever was._

 _Still, knowing all of this didn_ _'_ _t make it any easier to listen to her pleading, nor did it stop him from breaking down after she left. He didn_ _'_ _t want to ever have to make another decision in his life. It wasn_ _'_ _t fair, he shouldn_ _'_ _t have to do this._

* * *

Ah, Dr Reid, that's where you finally snapped, and everything went wrong, the Unsub thought to himself. You met the BAU team, and they turned you into the selfish, irresponsible person you are today.

* * *

 _When Spencer met Gideon, he had clung to him like a father figure. Gideon had looked out for him, and taken responsibility for him. Slowly, Spencer realised he didn_ _'_ _t have to make as many decisions, Gideon and Hotch did that for him, he could lean on them._

 _Hotch had become another constant in his life, and in many ways Hotch was just as much of a father figure to him. Hotch understood him, sometimes even more than Gideon did._

 _Hotch was without a doubt harder on him than Gideon was, but still Spencer knew he could talk to him about anything, anytime. Yet with Gideon in his life, Spencer hadn_ _'_ _t paid much attention to Hotch. He had just taken him for granted._

 _When Gideon had left, it felt like a replay of his father. It hurt just as much, and it was just as difficult to understand. The empty feeling came back. So did the thoughts that told him he wasn_ _'_ _t good enough, and that he was unloveable. Nobody stuck around for him, he wasn_ _'_ _t worth the effort._

 _Then Emily had taken that doubt away. She had showed him that it wasn_ _'_ _t him. The people who left had something wrong with_ _ **themselves**_ _, it wasn_ _'_ _t his fault. He had done nothing wrong._

 _Hotch and Emily had stepped up, and filled the hole in his life, and subsequently in his heart. He began to lean on them more and more. They took care of him, sure the others did too, but not in the same way. Hotch and Emily had a different way of taking care of him; they always made sure he was okay, they called him out on his mistakes, they put him back on the right path, yet at the same time they did it with understanding and care. Hotch helped him through difficult decisions, and shielded him from the consequences when he did make mistakes._

 _Most importantly Hotch never left. He was always, always there, and_ _ **that**_ _more than anything, is what deepend Spencer_ _'_ _s respect, and love for him. He did love Hotch, he loved every member of his team, they were his family. Hotch showed him that people_ _ **did**_ _stick around, even when things were tough._

 _Emily mothered him, and he trusted her implicitly. Unconsciously, he began to view her as a substitute mother. He didn_ _'_ _t love his mother any less, but Emily was everything he thought a mother should be, she did everything a mother should do. Emily_ _'_ _s death and return had felt like a betrayal to him. She had left him_ _…_ _But she had come back, she didn_ _'_ _t leave him for good. And he understood that it wasn_ _'_ _t_ _ **him**_ _she had left. She had left to protect herself, she needed to stay safe. And_ that _made all the difference to him, because he had gotten her back, and she stilled cared about him._

* * *

The Unsub smiled, Reid was ready. He would get what he had longed for; a family with Agents Hotchner, Prentiss, and Jareau.

The Unsub bent down, and whispered in Reid's ear, "I hope you are ready to meet your mommy and daddy, Spencer."

* * *

 _A/N: Next up Reid being turned into a little kid, and the Unsub plays a few more games with poor Hotch and Emily. As mean as it is, I plan on breaking Hotch and Emily a little bit more so that when they build themselves back up they do it together._

 _A quick question; do you prefer long chapters, or would you like shorter more regular (I_ _'_ _ll try) updates?_

 _Thank you so much for the reviews, I loved them. It was so interesting and rewarding to hear what you guys thought. Please keep it up. I will try and reply to the reviews that I can. Feel free to leave suggestions about what you want to see with them as kids._


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N; A huge thank you to my Beta GoodGodHenry, who calmly helped me through my writers block._

* * *

 **120 HOURS SINCE ABDUCTION**

Morgan clenched the steering wheel, his knuckles going white. He could feel Garcia's concerned gaze boring into him from the passenger seat. He had just picked her up from the airport. Hotch had decided that she was needed in the field. Logistically, it made everything that much simpler, but it was also for the support that they could all use from being together. All around it was going to make it easier on all of them if she was here with them. This case was taking strain on everyone, they had been away from home for going on two weeks, and it had be five whole days since Reid and JJ had been taken. Five, long, and emotionally gruelling days, since they lost them. And yes, that is what happened _they_ had lost them. Morgan's jaw clenched, they hadn't protected the two most vulnerable members of their team…

Morgan felt like slamming his fist onto the steering wheel, but he didn't want to upset Penelope anymore than she already was.

JJ and Reid blamed themselves for this situation, JJ had even apologised to _him_ specifically for not being able to protect Reid. It wasn't supposed to be her job, of course she was meant to have his back, but it wasn't her sole responsibility to protect him. No, that was his job, the team's job, but they had failed. Morgan knew he had been hard on her the last time Reid had been abducted, but that was before he knew the whole story. Reid had told him that it was his idea to split up, that JJ had wanted to stick together. Morgan had thought he had made it up to her for being such a dick, but obviously he hadn't. And thinking back on it he had been just as big a jerk to her recently about Prentiss. And now when JJ was at her most vulnerable, she didn't even think he had her back. She thought he was mad at her, and that he didn't care about her. Morgan felt his heart ache; it wasn't true, yes, he was worried about Reid, but JJ was important to him too.

She was like his little sister.

They weren't any closer to finding them than they had been the first day they disappeared, and to make matters worse the unsub was playing games with them. Not one member of the team had dry eyes after the last video, and Morgan was not ashamed to admit it. The Unsub, the sick bastard, had made Reid say goodbye.

Goodbye!

The ramifications of that statement did not bode well for Morgan. Goodbye meant he wouldn't see them again, and that was not something he could live with. He gripped the steering wheel even more tightly, if that was possible. Reid and JJ had apologised for things that they weren't even responsible for, things they couldn't control. They hadn't even had a chance to fight back, this guy whoever he was, had been planning this attack for weeks. If he ever got his hands on this son of a bitch… Well, it wouldn't be pretty, he wanted to smash his face in. He didn't care about the consequences; not when he thought about how battered JJ and Reid had been, and NOT when the sound of JJ's bone snapping was on constant replay in his mind.

He felt his eyes begin to sting, they were so helpless.

"Do you think it's true?" Garcia's voice broke into his thoughts snapping him back to reality.

"What?" he asked.

"Do you think JJ is really that little girl?"

Morgan vigorously shook his head, "No, no way! It's not possible. Something else happened, he's just trying to mess with us." He finished firmly. He refused to believe it, there was no way it was true.

"But Reid's reaction…" Garcia began, she honestly didn't know what to believe. But Morgan cut in before she could finish her sentence.

"Baby girl, it's not true. It's just impossible, if Reid were here, he would give you a scientific explanation for why it is not true."

Garcia's eyes began to water, and she sniffled, "But he's not here…"

The car was filled with a sad silence, she was right; he wasn't here, and that was the problem. Morgan felt the pang in his chest again.

"We'll find them," he whispered, as he reached for her hand, and gave it a squeeze.

"But what if we don't?" she squeaked out through tears.

Morgan shook his head, he couldn't, wouldn't, imagine that possibility.

* * *

Hotch was pacing the conference room floor. After the second video he had decided that they would run point from the hotel. The conference room had been available, so it had worked out perfectly. The case had become too personal, and he didn't know if his team, himself included, would be able to keep it together for much longer. It might have been selfish, but he didn't care. No, it would be better if they had some privacy, they didn't need the added strain of having to constantly put up a front in front of the locals.

Not to mention if one of them started weeping at the police station, which he had come close to, the BAU's reputation would be shot to hell. And they were in enough trouble as it was. Strauss had been calling him non-stop since she had gotten wind of what was going on, assaulting him with a slew of comments; ranging from "How could you let this happen?" to "You better fix this, - now!"

These weren't new thoughts to Hotch, he had been beating himself up with the same thoughts. How _could_ he have let this happen, how could he have failed them so miserably. But still Hotch got Strauss' message loud and clear, if he didn't get this case solved, she would end his career. Not that he gave a damn about his career, no, he had learnt from his mistakes with Haley and Jack. His career meant little in comparison to the people he cared about. All he cared about was getting JJ and Reid home safely.

His heart physically ached when he thought about them, he pinched the bridge of his nose. They had looked up to him, and once again, he let down the people he cared about and who cared about him. It was a different situation, but the similarities were there. God, he thought, Reid's goodbye reminded him so much of Jack's … He felt a tear slip down his cheek.

They wanted him to be happy. Didn't they understand that he couldn't be happy without them, especially when he knew he was the reason they had been hurt. They were his family, different form of family, but family all the same, and you were supposed to protect your family. And he had failed twice.

Twice! Hotch shook the thoughts away, he couldn't lose it now.

His mind wandered to the little girl on the video. Could it really be JJ? The Unsub had seemed so sure, though that could just be a part of his game. But Reid's reaction was as if it really had happened. The rational part of Hotch doubted it was true, he didn't think it was even possible, but a small voice was whispering 'what if…'

The Unsub had been one step ahead of them the entire time; and because of this, Hotch's practical side was telling him to be prepared in case it was true. The Unsub _had_ referred to him as daddy on more than one occasion… if it was true what was he going to do? Did he even deserve to be a daddy again? How on earth would he be able to care for a little JJ?

Little JJ, this thought brought him up short, what was he thinking? Hotch groaned, and covered his face with his hands, 'a little JJ' why was he even considering this absurd possibility.

Crap, he really needed some sleep. He was going insane.

"Hotch, you okay?"

At the sound of Emily's voice his head snapped up, he hadn't heard her come in. Slightly embarrassed at being caught _almost_ breaking down, he nodded and answered tersely, "I'm fine."

Emily nodded, and took a seat. "Morgan called, he and Garcia should be here in about ten minutes."

Hotch tipped his head in response, and they sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes. In that time, Hotch realised he needed to apologise to her. Things had been tense between them since he had acted like a complete jerk towards her. He _had_ told her to come to him when she was having a bad day, and she was always ready to lend him a shoulder when he was having a bad day; yet that day he had completely dismissed her feelings. He groaned internally, yet another thing to add to the list of things he had failed at. He hadn't wanted to deal with his own emotions so he had pushed her away.

If Reid's goodbye, God he hated thinking of it like that, had taught him anything, it was that he had a responsibility towards the team. He needed to be more emotionally available to his them. Not everyone was like him, and could push their emotions away.

It was another broken promise. He had sworn to himself after Jack, that he would try to be better. But at least with Emily, he had a chance to fix his mistake.

He cleared his throat, and when she looked up at him he began. "Prentiss, about the other day…"

She shook her head, and cut him off, "Hotch, don't. It's done, and you were right."

Hotch opened his mouth to speak, but again she cut him off, "Hotch, it's fine, we're fine. Just leave it alone." It wasn't fine, she had felt empty since that day, but she didn't want her feelings, or their little argument to distract her from the case.

Hotch studied her, it was obvious that she didn't want to talk about it anymore, but he doubted very much that things were 'fine' between them. He had seriously damaged the friendship that they had slowly built up. He didn't want that, he felt another pang in his chest, he didn't want to lose her too. For some reason, the thought that he had pushed her away was to unbearable to think about.

They were saved from the strained silence when Rossi, Morgan, and Garcia walked in.

Garcia's eyes immediately filled with tears when she saw them, and she rushed straight towards Emily, enveloping her into a tight hug. Hotch noticed that Emily's eyes had begun to tear up too, and he cursed himself again for being an asshole towards her. He was happy Garcia was here, she needed a friend.

Emily and Garcia were whispering to each other, but Hotch couldn't make out what they were saying. He didn't want to eavesdrop so he turned towards Morgan and Rossi. He saw the same mixture of emotions that he felt, mirrored on their faces. Rossi met his eyes, and tipped his head. It was time to get back to work.

For the second time in a couple of minutes, Hotch cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "I know that this case, especially with JJ and Reid missing, has been difficult for _all_ of us," he emphasised the all by making eye contact with each of them, "But we need to find them. I don't know what condition we'll find them in…" His eyes began to sting, and he had to clear his throat again before he could continue. "Even if it is the worst case," his voice faltered slightly, "we need to bring them home. I know this is a big ask, but I need you all to stay focused. But I don't expect any of you to hide your emotions." He tried to make eye contact with Prentiss, but she avoided his eyes, choosing to remain focused on the carpet, her eyes burning with tears.

"So, let's do this for JJ, and Reid." Hotch finished off, before looking around at his sober faced team. He pinched the bridge of his nose, he didn't have to add this last bit in but he wanted to. He wanted them to know that he was just as broken as they were, maybe even more so. It wasn't in an attempt to excuse his behaviour over the last few days, but he needed them to understand that he needed their help. He couldn't do this by himself, he didn't want to mess up anymore than he already had. He didn't know how much more his conscience could take. He was having doubts about leading them, and that was enough for him to know that he shouldn't be, well at least not without some help.

After one last deep breath, Hotch finally said some of the hardest words he ever had to say. "Dave, I might need you to take over, and be in charge… I can't do it alone, and I…" he let a tear roll down his cheek, "I… I don't want this, no I can't let, this end like it did with Jack." His voice cracked, and he covered his face face with his hands, willing himself not to let out a sob. He heard an "Of course" muttered from Rossi, and a gasp of "Oh, sir." from Garcia. When he finally looked up, it was straight into Emily's eyes which were welled up in sympathy, and support. Hotch let out a breath, maybe he just might be able to get through this.

Before anyone could say anything else, there was a knock on the door. When Morgan opened it, the concierge handed him a package, "This was addressed to Agent Hotchner."

Morgan thanked him, while Hotch ripped the package open. He looked up at the rest of the team, "It's another video."

* * *

The video started, and an image of two small children appeared on the screen. They were playing quietly, looking away from the camera. Then a gravelly voice called out to them. "Children, come here."

The children whipped their heads around, and immediately came towards the camera. The team let out a collective gasp… The children looked eerily familiar.

"It's time to say Hi to your mommy and daddy." The voice cooed.

The little blonde girl, who looked no older than three, immediately began to tear up. "When are mommy and daddy gonna come get us?" She asked, wiping at her eyes.

"I don't know, why don't you ask them?" The voice responded.

"Mommy, Daddy, please come get us." The little girl sniffled out, tears running down her cheeks.

The little boy with a mop of brown hair, who appeared to be five, gently patted her back. "Don't cry, JJ."

"But Spence, I want them to come now!"

Emily shook her head, no it couldn't be, those children couldn't be Spencer and JJ. But they looked so much like them...

"Now, now, Jennifer. Watch your manners, the Unsub's stern voice drew her attention back to the video. A hand reached out in front of the camera, and the team held their breath, they didn't know what he was going to do to the little girl.

They all breathed a sigh of relief when they saw he had simply handed her a pacifier.

The little girl took it, and promptly put it in her mouth.

"Spencer," the voice called out, "tell me, what is your daddy's name?"

The little boy pushed the hair out of his face with both hands, and scrunched up his face, before answering. "It's Aaron…"

"I know, I know!" The little girl excitedly interrupted, yanking her pacifier out of her mouth.

"Ssh, JJ." The little boy scolded.

"But Spence, I want to say it!" She whined.

He huffed, "Fine."

"It's Aaron Hot'ner" she said proudly smiling at the camera.

"No, JJ. That's not right. It's Hotchner." The boy corrected.

The little girl's face crumpled, "But I said that!"

"No, you didn't!"

"Yes, I did!"

"Children, enough!" The voice commanded sternly.

Both children immediately stopped bickering. The little girl's eyes widened in fear, and she put the pacifier back into her mouth.

"Now, Spencer, tell the camera what your mommy's name is." He commanded

"It's Emily. Please come and get us, mommy." The little boy said seriously.

The camera turned, and the Unsub's face came into view. "Time's running out for you, Agent Hotchner, Agent Prentiss. Jennifer and Spencer are waiting for you.

* * *

 _A/N; Yay! A small glimpse at little JJ and Reid, my way of apologising for taken ages to upload._

 _I_ _'_ _m so sorry it_ _'_ _s taken me awhile to update, I suddenly had a huge bout of writers block. I did take your comments into account, so I cut this chapter in half. Which means another Chapter won_ _'_ _t take as long as this one did._

 _I have 93 followers, and a ton of favourites. Thank you so much I appreciate every single one of them. Please leave a review, I really appreciate them._


	10. Chapter 10

A/N; _I want to say a sincere thank you to every single person who has, read, favourited, and followed this story. I can_ _'_ _t believe I have over a hundred followers. I_ _'_ _m so unbelievably glad that you are enjoying this story, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. I have to say a HUGE thank you to my amazing Beta, GoodGodHenry, who has helped this story grow._

* * *

The room was silent after the video ended, the only noise was the hum from the TV that was still on; nobody bothering to turn it off. Everybody was still trying to make sense of what they had just seen. They were all, in their own way, trying to process the new information, trying to determine the truth of a very bizarre, and unbelievable situation.

Emily was coming up empty, she had no idea what to think. "What was that?" she asked incredulously, breaking the silence. Her eyes flashed straight to Hotch. Although she had asked the question aloud, and in a general way to everyone, she was really hoping Hotch would be the one to answer. The video was directed at them, they were the only ones named... named as 'mommy' and 'daddy'... So only he could fully understand the utter confusion, and vulnerability, that the video had provoked in her. If Hotch couldn't make sense of this, then she sure as hell couldn't. She repeated the question in her head 'what the _hell_ was that?'

"Whatever it was," Rossi began, "it is definitely more than a little weird."

"Weird, that certainly is an understated way of describing it." Emily said derisively.

"Oh!" Garcia gasped, a hand over her heart, "My Genius G-man, and Cupcake are little babies. They are ADORABLE!"

"You guys can't honestly believe that it is true?" Morgan demanded disbelievingly, looking around the room, "It's impossible!"

"It's strange, I'm not going to lie, but Derek you can't get around the fact that this guy is a wacko. He's been experimenting with all sorts of medication, or chemicals, that we probably haven't even heard of. I don't think we should rule this possibility out completely. So far he's been able to get into our minds.

"Come on, Rossi, a Mad Scientist? I don't care what this guy has done before, this just isn't real. Like you said he's just trying to get into our heads. He wants to mess with us." Morgan argued

"But Morgan, you can't deny the fact that those children looked _exactly_ like JJ and Reid." Emily pointed out.

"Or the fact that they responded to, and even addressed each other as JJ and Spencer." Rossi quipped

"And…" Garcia added, "They called Bossman, and Em, 'mom' and 'dad'."

"Big deal!" Morgan said shaking his head, "He easily could have conditioned those kids to say and do those things. And yeah, they look like them, but a ton of little kids could look like them. A blonde blue eyed girl, and a dark haired skinny boy, no offence but they aren't really hard to come by."

"But something in their eyes was just so familiar. I don't…"

"No, Em!" Morgan interrupted, "Don't let this guy cloud your judgement."

"I don't know what to think." Rossi said throwing his hands up, "Hotch, what's your take on all this?"

All eyes in the room were redirected to Hotch at Rossi's question. Hotch had been silent the entire time, and there was still no response from him. It looked as if his mind was far away.

"Hotch!" Rossi called louder.

This time Hotch's head snapped up, and he refocused on his surroundings. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Rossi gave Hotch a concerned glance before repeating the question, "I asked if you thought that those kids were really JJ and Reid."

Hotch shook his head, "I don't know, but I have a bad feeling about this."

* * *

132 HOURS AFTER ABDUCTION

After more futile hours spent trying to solve the case, Rossi had finally insisted that they all get some sleep. He was met with resistance; time was of the essence, and nobody was willing to take a break from searching for JJ and Reid. But Rossi had been firm, and had rationally pointed out that 'none of them were going to be of any use if they collapsed from exhaustion.' Emily, along with everyone else, begrudgingly agreed to turn in for the night.

After restlessly tossing and turning for a while, exhaustion won out, and Emily had eventually fallen into a deep dreamless sleep. A few, short hours later, she was jerked awake by the shrill ringing of the hotel phone. She sleepily reached for it, and muttered a drowsy "Hello".

"Ma'am, sorry to wake you, but a parcel has been left for you. The man who left it said that it was urgent, regarding two people..." Emily was now fully awake, and could hear the receptionist shuffling papers as he searched for the names, "regarding a, Jennifer, and Spencer."

Emily sat bolt upright at the mention of JJ and Reid. "Is the man still there?" was Emily's immediate question, as she swung her legs off the bed, and reached for her gun.

"No Ma'am, he left an hour ago."

"You said it was urgent! Why didn't you wake me immediately?" She hissed. The Unsub had been in the Hotel, and they had missed him!

"Ma'am, I was only following instructions." The receptionist replied calmly, oblivious to the seriousness of the situation. Emily heard more shuffling of papers, before the receptionist spoke again, "His exact message was; 'Only wake Ms. Prentiss up at 4 a.m. She is going to need her energy for today.'"

Emily felt her stomach drop, the message was ominous. "What did he leave?" was all she could ask.

"It's a box, Ma'am."

Emily nodded, despite the fact that the receptionist couldn't see her over the phone. She needed time to think. She wasn't sure if she should wake the others or not. The message was clearly directed at her, and the unsub had known she was asleep, and therefore that she was alone. So maybe he had wanted her to watch it alone, or for it to only be seen by her. But that wasn't fair to the team, they were all in this together, and they were just as affected by this as she was. It would be selfish if she kept it to herself. But, what if she were to watch it now on her own, and then decide if it were urgent enough to wake them immediately, or if it could wait until morning. She shut her eyes and nodded, yes they could use more sleep.

Emily knew her decision was partly selfish; the Unsub had labelled her as a mother figure, and because of that she was afraid of how far he had dug into her past. At the same time the team _did_ need to sleep, so she didn't feel that guilty about her decision.

"Ma'am?" the voice on the other end of the phone brought her back to reality, she had forgotten she was still on the phone. "Shall I have the package sent up?"

"No!" she barked out more harshly than she intended. "Who else has handled the package?"

"Just me, Ma'am." The receptionist answered unsurely.

Emily let out a sigh of relief, maybe they would be able to lift prints off of it. The previous packages had been wiped clean, but either way she didn't want to take the chance. "Don't let anyone else touch it, do you understand?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I also need you to get the surveillance footage from tonight, and have it ready for me in the morning."

"Ma'am, I can't do that."

"I am and FBI agent, and this is part of an active case, so I can get a warrant but I need that footage." Emily ground out impatiently.

"Yes Ma'am…"

"I'll be right down." she said cutting him off, and hanging up. If she heard the word 'Ma'am' one more time she might just shoot him. Ma'am sounded so old. Emily shook her head to rid herself of the thoughts, 'that is so not important right now' she muttered to herself. Emily quickly slipped on some clothes, and grabbed her gun, key card, and a pair of gloves before she left her room.

Once she got into the hallway, she forgot to ease the door closed behind her so that it wouldn't make a noise. Instead, she had already taken a step towards the elevator when the door loudly banged shut behind her. She cringed, that would definitely wake at least one member of the team up. She hadn't even finished the thought when the door next to hers swung open.

Hotch came out gun in hand, and still fully clothed from the day before. He obviously had not taken Rossi's advice, and gotten some sleep.

Hotch relaxed when he saw her, "Prentiss, what's going on?"

Emily deliberated for the briefest of seconds whether she should tell him the truth or not, before deciding to go with the truth. "The unsub delivered a package to me, it's in the lobby with the receptionist." She answered, but didn't make eye contact. She felt guilty for even thinking of lying to him, and even more guilty over the fact that she was going to keep the news from him, and the team. Even if it was just for a couple of hours.

Hotch's eyes widened at her answer. "Is he still here?" he asked urgently, as he started to move towards the elevators.

Emily followed behind him as she answered. "No. He gave instructions for them to wait an hour before they called me." They had arrived at the elevator, and Hotch pushed the button, giving Emily a nod. She took a deep breath, and made eye contact with him, "His note said, I was going to need my energy for today." She barely got the words out, before she needed to take in a deep breath. The words were so much harder to say, than they were to hear.

Hotch's eyebrows furrowed, and his lips settled into a hard line. He had no idea what to say, the message was clear, today was the day.

Emily didn't take offence at his silence, she hadn't known what to say either. Instead she continued talking, "I told him not to let anyone else touch it, in case we could pull prints from it."

Hotch nodded, and answered with a simple, "Good." He stepped back to let her get into the elevator first.

"I also told him to put together the security footage from tonight." She added as she stepped in, and pushed the button.

This time she was met by a still distant, but warmer response, "Good thinking, Prentiss."

She tipped her head, but otherwise remained silent.

"Were you going to come to me?" He asked her seriously, after a few moments of silence. When he had come out of his room, she had already been halfway down the hall.

Emily blew out her breathe, she had been hoping he wouldn't ask that question, but she should have known better. Casting her eyes down to the floor, she answered hesitantly, "I was, just not right away. I was going to, uh, watch it first to see if it could wait until morning. Or well later in the morning." She finished, mumbling towards the end.

"That is not your call to make!" Hotch said sternly, fixing her with a hard glare.

"I know, I know. I just figured you guys could use some more sleep, this case has been really stressful. But really I was just being selfish, because it was left for me, and I know the unsub is probably going to make some really personal digs at me. He's really got it in for us. And," she quickly swiped a tear away, "I just wanted to see it first, because I don't know how I will react, and I just wanted to be prepared." Her rambling came to an end when she had to swipe a few more tears off of her face. "I'm sorry, I should have called you right away."

Hotch softened as he listened to her. Her reasons were perfectly understandable. This Unsub had an uncanny way of attacking them with their weakest, and most vulnerable thoughts. Hotch came to the same realisation that Emily had, the Unsub had left it for her when he knew she would be alone. This fact coupled with the hint that she would need her 'energy' today, left Hotch with no doubt that whatever was in the package, it would not be pleasant. He didn't want to be the one to take away the little privacy that she craved. The rest of the team would have to watch it, there was no choice about that, but she was right, she could watch it first. If it was urgent they could wake everyone else up, and brief them.

Realising he hadn't said anything in response to her, he nodded. "Let's talk to the receptionist, and then you and I can watch it before we wake the others." He said softly, trying to convey that he understood her need for privacy, but he couldn't give into it completely.

Relief flooded through Emily when she heard Hotch's response. She was beyond grateful that he seemed to understand where she was coming from. The thought of having to watch it with him wasn't entirely unpleasant, she still would have preferred being alone, but she wasn't above compromise. And if she thought about it, it might be comforting to have him with her. Despite their argument earlier in the week, he was still her go to person. She didn't ever want to have to 'go' to someone, but if she had to pick, it would be him.

She looked at him and whispered a soft "Thank you".

He gave her a ghost of a smile. He wanted to comfort her, but that was all he could manage for now.

* * *

 _A/N; Please leave a review, they make my day._

 _P.S I created a twitter account for those who want to follow me for updates on postings natzinoo_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: A huge thank you to my Beta, and friend, GoodGodHenry._

 _Thank you everyone for your reviews, follows, and favourites I really appreciate them._

* * *

They had spoken to the receptionist, and had gotten as much as they could from him. He told them that the man had acted calmly, and other than the message, there hadn't been anything else odd about him, or his behaviour. Hotch had told him to report to the police station once his shift ended to meet with a sketch artist. Until then there wasn't much else that could be done.

It was time for him and Emily to open the package.

Hotch and Emily decided to open the box in her room. It wasn't very professional, but with both of them expecting the worst, a warm environment seemed more appealing than the formal conference room.

Emily climbed onto the bed, crossing her legs, while Hotch pulled a chair up next to the bed and set up a DVD player. They both assumed that whatever was in the box, there was bound to be a video message as well. They pulled on their gloves, before Hotch tore the box open. The first thing he pulled out, was as expected a disc, but what wasn't expected was that there were two of them.

"There's two."

Emily's head snapped up, "Two?"

"Yeah" He nodded sombrely. "One with your name on it, and the other with mine."

Emily met Hotch's eyes, and in them she could see the same fear that she had felt when she heard that the message was directed at her. There was no doubt in her mind that this Unsub thrived on their psychological pain. "Do you think he knew it would just be the two of us opening it tonight." She whispered, afraid of the answer.

"I don't know," Hotch sighed, "I wouldn't put it past him, but maybe he just wanted you to be the one to give it to me."

Emily broke eye contact with him, nodding while she let her breath out. Okay so there _was_ a logical explanation. This guy was seriously getting into her head. Thank goodness Hotch was here to help her see reason, she was getting paranoid. She gave an involuntary shake of her head, before taking a deep breathe and composing herself.

She looked back up at Hotch who had placed the discs on the table, and was rummaging in the box again. "Is there something else in there?" she asked, her voice slightly betraying the trepidation she felt.

Instead of answering her verbally, he pulled out a pacifier. It looked as if it was the one JJ had been sucking on in the previous video. Emily felt her chest tighten, if the pacifier was here, then where was JJ? Hotch looked at Emily, and saw how pale she was. He wasn't sure if he looked any better, but he felt he needed to say something. "This is the same one that the little girl…"

"JJ." she interrupted him

"What?"

"Don't say the 'little girl', it's JJ, Hotch."

"Prentiss, we don't know if that is even possible."

"I know, but it's just a feeling I have." She paused, "But you're right, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We should bag it and run it for DNA." Emily answered distractedly. She clamoured off the bed, and searched through her go bag until she found the evidence bag she was looking for. She opened it up, and offered it to him, before he had a chance to respond to her.

He took it, and placed the pacifier into it. He wanted to tell her he had the same feeling... a feeling that despite logic telling him it was impossible, he knew it was JJ and Reid... but the moment had passed. So he pushed his thoughts away, and once again focused his attention on the box and its content.

What he pulled out next made both him and Emily freeze. "Please tell me that's not what I think it is." she whispered.

"There's a note." Hotch said instead of answering her question, there was no use, it was exactly what it looked like. He handed her the two small plastic bags.

In each bag there was a lock of hair, one blonde and one brown.

Emily took them from him, and examined them more closely. It looked like it was baby hair, just a small curl cut off. Emily shivered at the thought of the Unsub being so close to the children with scissors. It reminded her of how defenceless they were. She didn't want to imagine what else he could be doing to them, she couldn't go there, not without wanting to throw up.

"What does the note say?" She asked Hotch who had been reading it, with no expression on his face.

Again having no words, he simply handed the note to her so she could read it;

' _Agents, here are pieces of hair from your beloved young agents. You can use it to run a DNA test to confirm what I have showed you thus far. Consider it a peace offering, I know some of you don't believe that it is really them, and I do so want young JJ and Spencer to have a loving home waiting for them.'_

Emily stared at Hotch when she finished reading it, "He's giving us evidence?" she asked incredulously. Hotch, who was just as baffled, could only nod. "He makes it sound as if he actually cares about JJ and Reid." Emily scoffed.

"Maybe he does." Hotch murmured in a low voice. Honestly, he didn't know what to believe, but more than anything he was relieved. The note had hinted that JJ and Reid would be coming home, he would get them back, and that's all that mattered to him. They could deal with everything else once they were safe and sound.

"Oh, come on Hotch! This guy is a pure psychopath, you can't honestly believe it." Emily said staring at him with disbelief.

"Let's just watch the video's." he said with finality, he wasn't comfortable continuing the conversation further.

* * *

The video started, showing them a little girl sound asleep, with a pacifier in her mouth. It was the same lilac room they had seen before. The camera zoomed in, and they could see the rise and fall of her chest, her breathing even. A hand entered the frame, gently reaching out to push a stray lock of hair off of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

Emily involuntarily shivered as she watched.

The video then jumped to the young boy. He too was asleep, although he was in a separate room. He was sprawled out on the bed, with his arms resting above his head. His blankets, having been kicked off, were crumpled at the bottom of the bed. The Unsub's hands appeared, pulling up the blankets, and straightening them out. Carefully tucking the young boy in.

Emily and Hotch let out simultaneous breaths, the children both looked relatively healthy, and unharmed.

"Which one is this?" Emily asked, startling Hotch.

"What?" he asked, while pausing the video.

"Which video is this, your's or mine?" Emily repeated, expanding the question.

"Oh." He said looking faintly embarrassed, "Mine. I'm sorry, I didn't even think to ask which you would prefer to watch first."

"No, it's okay." Emily quickly reassured him, "I just, uh, wanted to prepare myself." She was both, relieved that she could put hers off for awhile longer, and pleased that Hotch was willingly to let her watch his with him. She thought he would want to watch it alone. It never even crossed her mind that that would have been a double standard on his part, Hotch was a private person. She would see it eventually, but she also would have understood if he wanted to watch it first.

Hotch meanwhile, hadn't even considered not watching it with her, so he nodded his response, and they returned their focus to the video.

When he pushed play the unsub's voice filled the room, and the screen divided so both children were visible. "Innocent aren't they Agent Hotchner? Don't they just remind you of your Jack?" Hotch stiffened at the mention of Jack.

"What it must be like to be young, and blissfully unaware of all the evil in the world. It is such a pity that they were robbed of that the first time around. After all, at their hearts, despite their faults, young Jennifer and Spencer are inherently good. That is why I have chosen them, I have looked into their hearts, their minds, I have watched their actions, and I can see that they were all made with pure intentions. They have always longed for the innocence they had lost, craved the guidance that they should have had. Who am I to deny them a second chance?

My problem, you see, is who can I entrust to make sure that their second chance is everything it should be, everything they hoped for?"

Hotch and Emily were unable to form any thoughts, they were both too transfixed by what the Unsub was saying.

"I personally would never have chosen you, Aaron Hotchner, but it seems little JJ and Spencer have. They saw you as the father figure they never had. Both of them idolise you." The Unsub continued tauntingly. The video then jumped to show the two children drawing at a table.

 _"What are you drawing children?" the voice asked?_

 _The little girl looked up, a grin plastered to her face, "I'm drawing a picture for my daddy, he's gonna come get us soon."_

 _"But what if he doesn't find you?" the voice taunted the children. The little girl's face scrunched, as if this thought had never even entered her mind._

 _It was the little boy who answered. "He will, our dad's the best. He always comes, and he always wins."_

The screen returned to the image of the sleeping children. "Such undeserved idolisation, isn't it Aaron? After all where is Jack now, didn't he feel the same way?" The Unsub sneered. Hotch's jaw clenched, and his fist curled into a tight ball. The Unsub went on.

"You would think after all those years of trying for a baby, miscarriage after miscarriage, you would have taken better care of the gift you were given. Was crying over your unborn foetus not _enough_ for you Aaron? Did you simply want to bring a living child into the world so you could _kill_ it yourself? Because ultimately it was you who killed your son, you put the gun in Foyet's hand.

All those years you and Haley resented each other, because you couldn't have a child. All the sadness you caused her, because **your** spawn couldn't survive in the womb. Maybe it was a warning to you Aaron. A sign that you were incapable of caring for a child, that you were incapable of keeping them alive. A sign, that you Aaron Hotchner, didn't deserve children!"

Hotch felt his eyes begin to mist over, and he hid his face in his hands, he hadn't been able to keep his children alive. Every single loss, Jack's, and the lost babies, losses that he thought he had dealt with, seemed to slam into him all at once. He fought not to cry, but he lost control, he couldn't help the tears that silently started to run down his cheeks.

The video once again changed, this time the children were distressed. The little girl was crying.

 _"Daddy! Please Daddy come get us. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home." The little voice cried out, before she burst into uncontrollable sobs._

 _The boy was trying his best to soothe her. "Don't worry JJ, Daddy will come soon. Then we can go home."_

 _The screen went blank, followed by the little girls hysterical scream for "Daddy!"._

Hotch felt a sob break through his chest, at the call for daddy. He felt Emily begin to rub soothing circles on his back. They needed him and he couldn't get to them. They wanted him and he wasn't there. Just like with Jack. He broke into further sobs, the tears, and emotions he'd been holding back all these months finally seemed to break through. The sound of 'daddy' was the last straw, and Hotch broke down completely, his breathing turned into gasping breaths of air. Emily couldn't stop herself from pulling him into a hug. His emotions were raw, and she felt utterly helpless, the least she could do was let him know he wasn't alone. So she clung to him while she felt the sobs wracking his body, and held on tighter when his body started to shudder. She didn't say anything, there was nothing she could say to make it better.

After some time had passed Hotch managed to get his crying under control, and his breathing started to even out. Slowly he became aware of his surroundings. When he looked up, he saw that he had somehow moved onto the bed. Emily had her arms wrapped around him, and to his horror he was clinging to her. He pushed away from her, moving to the other side of the bed, and tried to pull himself back together. He was embarrassed that he had broken down in front of her, but he was absolutely mortified that he was clinging to her as if he were a child. He felt his cheeks redden. He felt he needed to apologise to her, he had been entirely unprofessional. But when he lifted his eyes to meet hers, he immediately saw that they were as red and swollen as his felt. There were tears still sliding down her cheeks, she was crying for him. Looking into her eyes he could see that they were not pity tears, they were genuine. She cared enough about him that she shared his pain. Nobody had cared about him like that in a long time. At this realisation his eye began to tear up again, but he didn't break down, he managed to fight it off.

Emily had instantly felt when Hotch realised he was in her arms. His whole body had stiffened, so she wasn't surprised when he pulled away. Her heart had broken with each word the Unsub said, but what finally tore it apart was seeing the raw, undisguised pain in Hotch. It had become to much for her, and she had sobbed with him. She sobbed for his past and present pain, for their whole situation, for JJ and Reid. They were all so helpless. She wished she could take his pain away, or at least continue to comfort him, but he had already closed himself off again. She could see him struggling to put his Agent mask back on. She wanted to tell him he didn't need to, but she sensed that would only upset him more. If it were her she would be doing exactly the same thing, compartmentalising. She crossed her hands in her lap to stop herself from hugging him, and waited for him to make the next move.

Finally he whispered in a low, husky voice, "Is that it?" He didn't make eye contact with her, he couldn't. Her sympathetic tears would be to much for him.

Emily shook her head, she was hit with a pang of true sorrow, "No, there's more. I paused it when…" She didn't finish the sentence, her voice was laced with a mixture of dejection and sympathy. She hated having to tell him the unsub wasn't through with him yet.

Hotch shut his eyes, and rubbed a hand down his face. More, there was more. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at Prentiss, and nodded. "Okay, let's finish it."

Emily bit her lip, she didn't know if it was such a good idea, maybe they needed a break. "Hotch, we can take a few more minutes." She said hesitantly.

Hotch shook his head, "No, I want to get it over with, and we don't have much time. We still have your video to watch, and we are supposed to meet the team at eight."

Emily visibly paled at Hotch's words, she had been so concerned about him she had completely forgotten that she had her own message waiting for her. If Hotch's was this bad, then hers… she stopped herself. 'Don't go there yet, just get through Hotch's first, then you can worry about yours.' she mentally scolded herself. She picked up the remote, and with a small nod to Hotch, she pushed play.

Once again the sleeping children appeared on screen, and the Unsub spoke. "Aaron, did you hear that call for daddy? I'm sure that's exactly how little Jack sounded in his last moments. Waiting for his daddy to come and save him, but you didn't, did you?"

Hotch felt his gut twist, he wanted to be sick.

"You don't deserve a second chance, Aaron. After all what kind of father stands aside and lets his child be killed. You had a choice to make Aaron, you could have chosen to keep your family safe, but you didn't.

You. Chose. Wrong!"

Hotch paled, he was long past the point of asking how the Unsub knew all these things. He was past caring. All he knew was that when the Unsub struck, he struck where it hurt the most. He cast a glance at Prentiss, she was clutching the pillow tightly. The ache in Hotch's chest intensified, this time it wasn't for himself, it was at the thought of Emily having to go through the same torment that he was going through. He wished he could protect her.

Hotch was sharply brought back to the present at the Unsub's next words. "You would have thought, Aaron, that after your own childhood, you would have wanted to be a better man than your father was." His eyes blurred, and his jaw clenched. He could feel Emily's eyes on him at the mention of his childhood, but he blocked her out. Instead, he focused on the rage that was slowly building up inside of him.

He was not his father.

"At least you knew exactly who your father was, Aaron. He never pretended to be something he wasn't. Poor little Jack died believing his daddy was a hero, he died believing a lie. It would have been more honest if you had just killed him yourself, then he would have been able to see the real you. Because you are no better than your father, Aaron, you never put your child first, even when you could have prevented his pain. Work always had to come first for you. You chose your _team_ over your family Aaron."

Emily had no idea what the Unsub was talking about, well she could guess, but really she knew nothing about Hotch's childhood, or his relationship with his father. But at the moment she was too distracted to make any assumptions. She could see the dark, murderous glare that was emanating from Hotch's eyes. She knew without a single doubt that if the Unsub had been standing in front of them, Hotch would have killed him with his bare hands.

Emily wanted to stop the video, the Unsub was making accusations that weren't true. Emily knew that the very thought of being anything like what the Unsub was suggesting was abhorrent to Hotch. There was no blurred line between good and bad for him. He was **not** any of those things. Maybe it was because of his own past experiences, but the man she knew did, and would do anything for those he loved. He protected them, he protected everyone as best he could.

Emily refocused on the video, the Unsub was speaking again. "The fact that you care about your team, is really your only redeeming quality in my eyes Aaron. Maybe there is a chance that you will be able to take care of Jennifer and Spencer. I never doubted you cared about them, in fact I know you do. But your past actions, well, they are a problem. Will you be able to be better if you did have a second chance?"

'Yes!, Hotch screamed in his head. He had spent countless hours wishing he could do things over again. But he couldn't, even if these children were JJ and Reid, and they did think of him as daddy, they weren't Jack.

"I hope you are able to be better Aaron, because you are the only one Jennifer and Spencer want as their father. Look at it this way, this is your chance to fulfil Jack's last request, Aaron. You have the opportunity to keep your promise to him. You can keep the other boys and girls 'safe and happy', and who know's maybe you'll end up being happy too."

Hotch's anger went up another notch. This Unsub was a sadistic bastard, and Hotch was fed up, he no longer wanted to play his games. How dare he use Jack's last words to manipulate him.

The video switched to a new image;

 _"Hi Daddy!" The little girl greeted as she popped up in front of the camera, grinning broadly, bouncing up and down from excitement._

 _"Hi Dad." The little boy waved, with an equally big grin on his face._

 _"The mean man said you are gonna come today!" The girl squealed with delight, brushing stray stray strands of hair from her face, while still bouncing with joy._

 _"No, JJ!" The little boy said sternly, causing her to stop bouncing, and to look at him. "You have to listen. He said_ ** _tomorrow_** _, daddy's coming tomorrow."_

 _A brief flash of confusion appeared on her face, before her grin returned. "Oh, okay! See you tomorrow Daddy."_

The video returned to the image of the children sleeping. "That was yesterday Agent Hotchner. You have until this evening to find them. You don't want to disappoint them."

That was the last thing they heard before the video ended.

* * *

 _A/N: Long, emotionally charged chapter. Emily's turn next._

 _Let me know what you think. Good, bad, or like my Beta, frustrated at where I left off._


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** _Hi guys, I_ _'_ _m so sorry it_ _'_ _s taken me this long to update. Real life got a bit hectic, and also my muse and I did not get along for this chapter. I have spent weeks on this chapter, arguing with the characters, and my muse, about how it should be written, and trying to get it right. Yes, I know I sound crazy. Sigh, the muse wants, what the muse wants. The result is a very long chapter._

 _Before I go any further, I owe a HUGE thank you to my Beta reader GoodGodHenry, in fact you guys should thank her too. Without her I_ _'_ _m pretty sure this chapter would not be published, she sent countless emails,_ _'_ _zenifying_ _'_ _me, and painstakingly editing all 5000 words, again and again._

 _A big thank you to all my followers, I can_ _'_ _t believe I have so many, and everyone who favourited this story. Thank you for the lovely reviews, you have no idea how much they encourage me. I was especially grateful for them as I wrote this chapter._

 **Disclaimer:** _This chapter includes the mention of Emily_ _'_ _s abortion, so if that is a sensitive issue for you just be aware. My personal views on the subject of abortion are not reflected in this story. The writers of Criminal minds, wrote in Emily_ _'_ _s abortion, I am just using it to fuel my story, and in the attempt of sticking as close to the real character as possible. I know abortion is a tough subject, and my aim is not to start a debate about it. The reactions of the character_ _'_ _s may be upsetting, but this is how I see them reacting, and hopefully the reasoning behind it is clear, or becomes clear. Feel free to hate on the characters, and let me know what you think, because I love hearing your thoughts on my chapters, and how I_ _'_ _ve depicted the characters. Just pretty please don_ _'_ _t direct the hate to me._

 _~Sorry for the long AN~_

* * *

" _See you tomorrow Daddy._ _"_

Hotch cringed at the word ' _Daddy_ _'_ , but he didn't say anything, what was there to say? The two of them sat in silence after the video had ended. Both trying to figure out the way forward, while still trying to absorb what they had just seen.

Emily was biting her lip, and gripping a pillow tightly to her chest. She snuck a glance at Hotch, trying to read any emotion he may be feeling, but she couldn't. He was resolutely staring at the floor, pinching the bridge of his nose. She knew he had to be feeling something, Hell, _she_ was feeling vulnerable, and it wasn't even her soul that had just been bared.

She grimaced, well not _yet_ anyway…

Deciding to give him a few more minutes, after all the man had just had his heart trampled on, she remained silent.

As time slowly ticked by, Emily's apprehension grew.

After five minutes the silence was suffocating, and she couldn't take it anymore. They didn't have a lot of time left, and she was anxious. Anxious about Reid and JJ, of course, but a small selfish part of her, was also anxious about her own video. She didn't want to have to continue waiting and imagining what insulting taunts the Unsub had aimed at her. She wanted to watch the video, move on, and find JJ and Reid.

She glanced at Hotch again, trying to gauge how he would react, but his face was still blankly staring at the floor.

Sighing, she called out tentatively, "Hotch?"

"What?" He snapped harshly, causing Emily to flinch. 'Okay' she thought to herself, at least you know he's going with anger as his emotion of choice.' She wasn't going to hold it against him, no, it was perfectly understandable.

Taking a deep breath, she went on cautiously. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

Hotch stood abruptly, and walked to the door. Yanking it open, he turned to face a confused, and startled Emily. He wanted to give her an explanation about why he was leaving, but he couldn't. His attempt at finding the right words was proving to be useless, there was nothing he could say that wouldn't betray how broken he felt.

"I'm going to get coffee," was all he managed before walking out, and shutting the door behind him.

He needed a minute. He needed to get himself under control. His emotions were all over the place, but his rage, his rage was just ineffable. He wanted to punch something, well more like _someone_ , but that bastard was out of his reach.

'For now,' he thought bitterly, as he walked towards the elevator.

He inhaled deeply, trying to get his breathing even. The anger that was boiling so dangerously close to the surface, was scaring him. He was afraid that if he didn't get his temper under control, he would do something terrible. Something he would undoubtedly regret later.

He scoffed, as he pressed the button to call for the elevator, the great Aaron Hotchner was afraid. He ran a hand over his face, he was pathetic. He was angry because he was scared, but at the same time he was scared because he was angry. Everything came down to the fact that he was scared. Scared that the Unsub was right, scared he would lose JJ and Reid, but most of all he was afraid of how helpless he felt.

But fear wasn't an emotion he could give in to, it wasn't something _he_ could deal with. He gave a bitter shake of his head, he **couldn't** be scared.

After jabbing the elevator button for the third time, Hotch decided to take the stairs. Normally when he was this worked up he would head to the gym to blow off steam, but right now he didn't have that option. Hotch let out a frustrated grunt, he didn't have a lot of options right now. He was backed into a corner. He had until tonight to find JJ and Reid, and the sadistic maniac hadn't left them a single clue on _how_ to find them, only on what he wanted them to do _when_ they found them.

Hotch felt his anger flare; he hated the fact that this guy seemed to be - no, not seemed, he thought curling his hand into a fist, _was_ one step ahead of them. He banged his hand against the door, not flinching when it crashed open. Silently fuming, he made his way to the coffee shop directly opposite the hotel. He placed his order, and paid, while functioning completely on autopilot, his anger had turned everything around him into a blur.

Hotch's head was buzzing with unanswered questions, and accusations; How the hell did the Unsub know what Jack's last words were? Did he honestly think that giving him these kids could replace Jack? How was he going to get JJ and Reid back? Was it really JJ and Reid? What was he supposed to do with two children? The bastard couldn't possibly expect him to play house? Besides didn't the Unsub just tell him that he was unfit to be _near_ children, let alone to actually _look after_ them?

Hotch was sharply brought back to the present when scalding hot liquid burnt his hand. He hissed in pain, and glared down at the offending cup. He had been so caught up in his rage filled thoughts that he had squeezed the cup too tightly, causing the lid to pop off, and the steaming coffee to spill over. His hand was aching, and it was not doing anything to help improve his mood. He shut his eyes, and tried taking another deep breath, to no avail. Muttering curses, Hotch cleaned up the mess, and re-placed his order.

* * *

Emily sat staring at the door Hotch had just walked out of, frozen in surprise. He had just left. He had just literally and figuratively shut her out.

She didn't blame him, well not really, shutting people out _was_ an easier way of dealing with everything. But, a stupid, hopeful part of her had thought, that after what happened earlier, they would be a bit closer.

She had been wrong. So very wrong. Instead, he seemed more intent on keeping her out.

For a brief moment he had let her comfort him, he had let her hold him, and she had foolishly thought that it was his way of telling her he was willing to let her in. Bringing a hand to her forehead, Emily cringed at her own stupidity. He had pulled away as soon as he realised what she was doing. It was a sign, as clear as day, but she had let her feelings cloud her judgement.

Ugh, she should have known! Crying was a weakness to him, just like it was a weakness to her. Of course he would run, that's exactly what she would have done.

Groaning in frustration, and self-loathing, she held her head in her hands. She wasn't sure what to do next, should she go ahead and watch her video, or should she wait for Hotch to come back?

He said he was going to get coffee, that implied he would be coming back...

So she _should_ wait for him, but a small part of herself wasn't entirely sure that he _was_ coming back. There was a nagging doubt that he might not after all he had been through, and he really hadn't been very specific. In fact he had hardly said anything.

'He's just taking a minute' she tried to convince herself, while breathing deeply. With a sigh, she got up and switched the disc's, if he returned, her video was ready to go when he was. She would give him some time.

Sitting back on the bed, she pulled a pillow onto her lap. With another long inhale, she drew her knees up, and tucked her heels close to her body, before letting her head drop, burying her face into the pillow.

She was starting to feel sick from the anticipation. Was _she_ ready for the video?

She tried to focus on her breathing, but it wasn't working. The tightness was spreading through her chest, she felt like she was being suffocated. She pulled her head up sharply, "Of course you feel like you're suffocating, your face is buried in a pillow, moron!" The last word was accompanied by a thump to the pillow, as she berated herself. "Get your shit together, Emily!"

Trying to stay calm, she took another deep breath, but it wasn't any better, she still felt as if she couldn't breathe. Emily let out a despondent moan, and allowed her head to fall back onto the pillow.

She was still trying to hide from the world in the soft material of the pillow, when she heard a sharp rap on the door. Her stomach dropped, and her mind began screaming at her, 'Please be Hotch! Please don't let it be someone else!' She didn't know what she would do if it was somebody else.

She didn't want to watch the video with anyone other than Hotch, at least not at first…

'Get a grip.' She scolded herself.

Getting up, and grabbing her gun, she made her way to the door. She peeked through the peephole, and felt a wave of relief wash over her, It was Hotch! 'Thank God!' she muttered as she yanked the door open.

Hotch stepped in, as soon as the door opened. Pushing past her, he went straight to the table, not saying a word. Emily closed the door, and followed him. Without looking up he handed her a coffee. A small smile tugged at her lips, he remembered how she took her coffee, even when he was upset. He was such a gentleman.

"Thanks."

Hotch looked up at her, catching her eyes, "No problem. I got you a donut, plain with cinnamon." It was the best way he could think of to say thank you. Emily had been there for him, been there in a way that nobody had been in a long time. She was in his corner, and he didn't have the words to properly express how grateful he was for that. She had made an unbearable situation slightly bearable.

Emily stared at him, his tone was gruff, but his eyes were soft. She was touched that he was trying. She gave him a soft smile. "My favourite, thank you."

She wanted to ask if he was okay, but decided against it, she didn't want to ruin the moment. Instead they held eye contact for a moment longer, both trying to express what they couldn't say in words.

"Are you ready?" He asked gently, nodding towards the TV, breaking their gaze.

Emily sighed, "As I'll ever be." With a roll of her eyes, and a flip of her hand, she prompted him to start, "Let's get it over with."

Hotch squeezed her arm in support, surprising Emily and himself. It was the only comfort he could give her. The gesture had come naturally, he hadn't even thought about it, it had just happened. Slightly embarrassed, he decided to continue as if his actions were completely normal, he reached for the remote, and sat down on the chair. He didn't want to invade her personal space by sitting on the bed.

Emily's arm was still tingling from his touch. She tried to shake it off, now was not a good time for her feelings for him to come to the forefront of her mind. She busied herself with trying to get comfortable on the bed, immensely grateful for the distance he had put between them. She needed to get it together, and she doubted she would be able to if he was sitting right next to her.

Once she was comfortable, with her coffee and donut in reach, she nodded for Hotch to start. He hesitated for the briefest of moments, before pushing play.

* * *

 _The children were playing in a room they hadn_ _'_ _t seen before. It was a large room, with pale yellow and white striped walls. It was filled with every toy imaginable. There was a large couch, filled with bright colourful cushions, against the wall. In front of it, the little boy sat on a soft looking rug, playing with legos. He was constructing something that looked entirely too complicated for his age. His forehead was scrunched into a frown, his right eyebrow arching up slightly, he was biting his lip, deep in concentration._

Hotch's breath caught, and Emily let out a small gasp. The expression… It wasn't an expression that could be taught... It was just _so_ Reid. The similarity… it was breathtaking...

 _The little girl was colouring at the table. She let out an exaggerated sigh, while pushing her hair away from her face, before looking over to the boy._

" _Spence, I_ _'_ _m bored._ _"_ _She whined._

 _The little boy didn_ _'_ _t show any signs of hearing her. He didn_ _'_ _t look up, he was zoned into his own little world._

 _The little girl tried again._ _"_ _Spence!_ _"_

 _He still didn_ _'_ _t respond, he was talking under his breath, deep in concentration._

 _The little girl began to get frustrated, getting up, and walking over to him she began poking him, while chanting,_ _"_ _Spence, Spence, Spence._ _"_ _until he finally snapped._

" _What, JJ?_ _"_ _He bit out, looking up at her, annoyed._

" _I_ _'_ _m bored._ _"_

" _Go finish your drawing,_ _"_ _he said absently, nodding his head in the direction of the child sized table set._

" _No, I_ _'_ _m bored of that._ _"_ _She said with a small stomp of her foot._

Hotch, and Emily shared and incredulous glance. The table was filled with every art supply possible, how could she be _bored?_

 _The boy shot her a glare,_ _"_ _Well, I_ _'_ _m busy. So leave me alone._ _"_

" _Can I help you?_ _"_

" _No, JJ!_ _"_

" _Spence,_ _"_ _she begged, as her eyes filled with tears_ _"_ _You_ _'_ _re being mean, I don_ _'_ _t like playing by myself. Please play with me._ _"_

" _No!_ _"_

Hotch and Emily watched as the little girl's expression changed from sad to angry. Once again it felt as if they had been robbed of breath. The expression was just as familiar, and just as striking as the little boy's had been. It was an expression they had seen countless times, one they all avoided, a frustrated JJ. Hotch wanted to cover his face, he could tell, this was not going to end well.

 _The little girl got up, her face set with the hardest look she could manage, and kicked the structure the boy was building. Both children watched, horrified, as a few pieces broke off, and went flying around the room. The little girl hastily turned to face the boy._ _"_ _Spence, I_ _'_ _m sorry. I_ _'_ _m so sorry it was an accident!_ _"_

 _But he wasn_ _'_ _t listening,_ _"_ _JJ!_ _"_ _He yelled, shoving her onto the ground. She landed on some of the pieces of lego that had broken off, and knocked the back of her head on the couch. For a moment she was too shocked to respond, she simply stared and the boy, and then cast her gaze down to where she had landed. Suddenly realising what had happened, she burst into tears, while rubbing the back of her head._

" _Stop crying!_ _"_ _He yelled at her,_ _"_ _You broke my spaceship. And it wasn_ _'_ _t an accident, you did it on purpose_ _"_

" _But, Spence, you hurt me._ _"_ _She sobbed, still rubbing her head._

" _I don_ _'_ _t care. I don_ _'_ _t want to play with you, JJ!_ _"_ _He said nastily. Still put out, he went to fix his spaceship, ignoring her cries completely._

 _The little girl began to sob harder, mumbling_ _"_ _I_ _'_ _m sorry, Spence. Please don_ _'_ _t be mad._ _"_ _But he continued to ignore her._

Hotch felt a sudden urge to comfort the little girl, to protect JJ! Emily wasn't doing much better, her heart was breaking with every sob.

" _I want to go home._ _"_ _the little girl wailed._

 _Without looking up the boy snapped at her,_ _"_ _You are so annoying, JJ. I_ _'_ _m gonna tell on you._ _"_

 _The little girl looked petrified,_ _"_ _N...no, Spence. Please. I_ _'_ _m sorry._ _"_

" _I don_ _'_ _t care if you_ _'_ _re sorry. You still broke it._ _"_

" _I_ _'_ _m so sorry, Spence. I didn_ _'_ _t mean to, I didn_ _'_ _t want to make you mad._ _"_ _She begged._

" _It doesn_ _'_ _t matter._ _"_ _He said finally looking up at her._

" _I want to go home, I want mommy. The man said we are going home tomorrow._ _"_ _She cried desperately._

" _I don_ _'_ _t care! I_ _'_ _m still going to tell._ _"_ _He replied spitefully._

When the girl broke into more sobs, Hotch and Emily saw a brief flash of remorse on the boy's face.

" _Please, Spence. I_ _'_ _m sorry. What if mommy won_ _'_ _t come, please don_ _'_ _t tell. I just want to go home. She pleaded._

" _It_ _'_ _s too late, JJ._ _"_

" _Spence!_ _"_

 _The little boy gave her another long, withering look, before turning back to his lego, muttering_ _"_ _I_ _'_ _m busy._ _"_

Emily wiped tears from her eyes. The little girl was so helpless, she just needed a hug. Why was Reid being so mean to her? She turned to Hotch, he was halfway out of his seat, as if he was going to reach out to the little girl. He sat back heavily after a moment, and met Emily's eyes, both of them feeling desperate, and helpless.

"Reid could always hold a grudge…" He whispered. Emily almost missed it, but she nodded, it was true.

 _The little girl eventually stood, brushing away some tears, she put on a brave face, and made her way over to the little boy. Putting her arms around him in a hug, she once again pleaded with him,_ _"_ _Please don_ _'_ _t be mad, Spence. I_ _'_ _m sorry._ _"_

 _He shrugged her off,_ _"_ _Let go, JJ._ _"_

 _She did, with a dejected look on her face._

" _I don_ _'_ _t want you to be sad, Spence._ _"_ _she whispered._

"It's them." Hotch said decidedly.

Emily tore her eyes from the screen and looked at him in shock.

"What... "

"It's JJ and Reid."

"How?"

"I don't know how, but their personalities, their behaviour. It's them… It's getting harder to deny." Hotch said seriously, staring at the scene in front of him.

Emily could only nod, part of her agreed with Hotch, the other half was still skeptical. It couldn't be possible. But before she had to answer, her attention was drawn back to the screen.

The video had cut to the sleeping children, the same image that had been in Hotch's video.

"Aren't they just so sweet, Agent Prentiss." The Unsub crooned. "But they are beginning to get restless. You heard young Jennifer, she wants to go home. Can you blame her for being frustrated? You've left them here for, what is it, six days now? No wonder Jennifer is afraid you won't come and get her. Honestly, I'm disappointed, I thought they meant more to you than that, Agent Prentiss."

At that moment Emily felt nothing but hatred toward the Unsub. How dare he say she didn't care about JJ and Reid. She clenched her jaw, she was frustrated, and furious with herself and the Unsub, because, in a way he was right. It _had_ been six days since JJ and Reid went missing. Six long days, but that **did not** mean that she didn't care about them.

"But then again, Agent Prentiss," his voice called her back to focus, "you don't have the best track record of sticking around do you? So it shouldn't be that surprising that you've barely made an effort to find Jennifer and Spencer. After all, you prefer to run away when things get difficult. Isn't that what you did with Ian Doyle? And with work before that? Isn't that why you chose to work undercover, so that you could always have an escape, a way out, a way to start over? Committing to staying in one place for a long time has never been appealing to you, has it, Emily?"

Emily shivered at the way he said her name, the intimate way it rolled off of his tongue. It felt intrusive.

"Before this case, weren't you thinking of a way out? Trying to come up with a way to leave? You were planning on _leaving_ this were going to leave them!" The Unsub hissed.

"You see, that is the reason I had to act so fast. I couldn't let you abandon Jennifer and Spencer, they depend on you too much. But you don't care about that! You only care about yourself. They would be completely broken if you left, AGAIN!

You didn't think about that, did you? You didn't think about them at all! You're much too selfish for that." The Unsub snapped, "I don't care what you say, Emily, you can lie to yourself, and to your team, but I know the truth! You don't really think of them as family, they are just another team to you. People you can walk away from, with no emotional guilt attached. They are just coworkers, not family!"

Emily felt herself flinch at the ferociousness of the Unsub's speech. The panic she felt flared as his words sunk in. It was her fault he abducted JJ and Reid, he had said she was the reason. She stared wide-eyed at the sleeping children on the screen. 'No, it can't be true, it wasn't her fault,' she wasn't leaving _them_ , she just didn't know if she could do this job anymore. But they were, and would always be her family, that was the honest to God truth!

"Emily!" Hotch's voice broke through her frantic thoughts, bringing her back to the present. Unable to say anything, she just stared at him.

"Is it true?" He asked bluntly, with a penetrating gaze. It felt as if he were looking directly into her soul.

Ashamed, she broke eye contact.

"Hotch…" She couldn't lie to him, but she didn't want to have to tell him the truth either. She had been feeling restless; the thought that they would be better off without her, had crossed her mind.

"You were thinking of leaving?" He breathed out, as if he couldn't believe it were true. The hurt in his voice was nearly too much for Emily, she snapped her eyes back to his, and saw a brief flash of pain in them. She shook her head desperately, wanting that look to go away, but before she could say anything the Unsub began talking again.

"I don't really blame you, Emily. After all, you have no idea what it's like to have a proper home _._ You moved around so much as a child that you never got to experience what home felt like, you were never able to make any lasting connections. Is that why relationships are so difficult for you, Emily? You would do anything to fit in, at work and in your personal life. You would never dream of complaining about all the upheaval you've been through. Let me ask you this Agent Prentiss, was it **worth it**? Was it worth it to end up alone, is your job honestly that great?" He sneered.

"You're all alone, Emily, all alone. You have no one. Your team? Well, yes you have them, but you were considering running away from them. Just to end up alone, again, because admit it, you _like_ being alone.

What is it about you, Emily, that makes you want to run when things get difficult? Why don't you ever ask for help? Maybe it's not your fault, maybe you just don't know how? Or maybe you just don't want to know.

You've always had a problem trusting people, but what you don't know is that you are the very person you are afraid of. You are the one who can't be trusted.

Maybe you _deserve_ to be alone, after all you've had more than one opportunity to change things, to have a family. You've always wanted a second chance - but you don't deserve it.

You always walk away!

You could have chosen to create a family with Declan, after all the boy had no one. Doyle gave you the choice of being a mother to him, but you chose not to do it. It wasn't because of his father, Doyle is dead now, Emily, but where is Declan? Still not with you. Sure you took care of him, you made sure he was well looked after, you cared. But it doesn't change the fact that you left!

You leave people, Emily!

What's going to happen to Jennifer and Spencer? Are you going to take care of them for awhile, and then when things get difficult, or when things stop going according to plan, are you going to run away? Or are you going to do what you did in Rome, and simply get _rid_ of the problem? You saw them fighting, Agent Prentiss, it's a guarantee that things **will** get difficult. But even when it does,

YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE!" The Unsub roared.

Hotch had felt Emily stiffen at the mention of a second chance, from all the way across the room. Then at the mention of Rome, her whole body had tensed up so tightly that he wasn't sure if she was breathing anymore. He was getting an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, he was missing something.

Except this feeling had nothing to do with the case. No, this feeling was directly connected to the woman sitting across from.

A sudden burst of rage shot through him, of course he was missing something, this was Emily! The women had more secrets buried than he did. Hotch felt a stab of betrayal, he thought she had confided in him. He thought they were friends, but they clearly weren't.

The Unsub was right, she had never trusted anyone.

She had thought about leaving! Leaving them, leaving him! He felt the familiar burn behind his eyes, he could lose her too…

Hotch didn't want to finish that thought, it was too raw. He forced himself to shift his attention back to the video.

"I've seen you with other children, you have such a way with them. You've always wanted to be a mother, Emily. I'm sure every single time you see a child you wonder about yours. You wonder if it would have been a girl or a boy. You wonder what he or she would have been like, what he or she would have been interested in…

I believe you truly regret the loss of your child. The same way Aaron Hotchner regrets the loss of his. I don't doubt that you could be a great mother, Emily. I believe in your maternal instincts, they are very strong.

But it all comes back to trust, Agent Prentiss. Jennifer and Spencer trust you with their lives. They chose you, just like they've chosen Agent Hotchner. The problem is that _I_ don't trust you. The fact of the matter is that you killed your child. The same way Aaron killed his. Neither of you deserve a second chance!

You had a choice to make, and **You. Chose. Wrong!** **"**

"What is he talking about?" Hotch asked suspiciously, stopping the video.

Emily turned questioningly to Hotch, her eyes were blurred with tears, 'why was he stopping the video?'

"What is he talking about, Prentiss?" Hotch demanded aggressively, when she didn't answer him.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked, still confused, her thoughts were far away. Her mind was reliving the painful memories from Rome.

"Why is he saying you killed your child?" Hotch ground out impatiently, barely holding his anger in.

Finally his words struck a chord, and she came crashing back to reality. The look in his eyes sent shivers down her spine.

"Hotch, it's not what you think."

"Then explain it to me!" He barked.

"We moved around a lot when I was a kid, and…" she wiped at her eyes, "when you're young you'll… you'll do anything to fit in… to get people to like you."

"You got pregnant." He said severely, as his steely gaze bore into her, making her shrink back onto the bed.

She nodded, looking away. "I was fifteen."

"What happened?"

"I couldn't keep the baby, I was too young…"

"Did you kill it?"

"What?" Emily said shocked, "I didn't…"

"Did you have an abortion?" He asked harshly, cutting her off.

When she didn't respond, and her eyes pooled with tears, he had his answer.

"The last time I checked Emily, an abortion was killing your child." He said in a dangerously, low tone, "So unless your answer is _no_ , then it is _**exactly**_ what I think it is!"

Emily didn't respond, the only indication that she had heard him was that she had pulled the pillow more tightly to her chest. But her eyes stayed down, and she didn't say anything.

Her silence only enraged him more. He had just found out she was planning on leaving, and now he knew that she willingly chose to end her pregnancy. A pregnancy that was easy, one that had just happened. It made him sick, it wasn't fair. He and Haley had tried and tried, and they couldn't get pregnant. They had had to struggle, had to fight to have their child, but Emily, Emily had just killed hers.

He stared at her, and he felt an ache in his chest, Could he trust her? Or was she going hurt him the same way Hayley did, was she just going to leave? Briefly, at the back of his mind he understood that she wasn't his to lose, but he pushed that thought away…

"Say something!" He roared, slamming his fist onto the desk.

She flinched, "What do you want me to say?"

"What type of person knowingly chooses to kill their child? God, Emily, what is wrong with you? Are you that selfish?" He ranted, "You killed your own baby…"

Hotch was startled when she suddenly stood up.

"Get out!"

"Excuse me?"

"I said, leave!"

"No, Prentiss, we're not done with the video."

"I don't care, I want you to leave!" She said curtly.

He was about to respond when she cut him off, "Look _Aaron_ , I get that you're hurting, but that does not give you the right to be a complete asshole." She said coldly, her eyes dark. "It's bad enough I have to listen to that psychopath, but I **will not** sit here and listen to you judge me about something you know nothing about." Pointing her fingers at his chest, she went on firmly, but calmly. "So, I'm not telling you again. Please leave!"

Hotch was brought up short, both by the venom in her voice, and by being compared to the Unsub. For a brief moment he felt a flash of remorse, he hadn't really meant what he said. Rationally he knew he was being unreasonable, she wasn't a murderer, but she had… she had done _it_! He stopped the thought, No, but it wasn't the same thing. But, it was still unfair, she had a choice…

The confusion he felt only fuelled the rage still coursing through him. Pushing away the little guilt he felt, he grabbed his jacket and left. Slamming the door behind him.

Emily first locked the door, before leaning against it and sliding down. She pulled her knees up, folded her arms, and wept.

* * *

AN: _I know you are all eager for Reid and JJ to be found, and trust me they will be, but this is a Hotch/Prentiss story first, so I have to spend time building their relationship. That being said, I will incorporate some form of young JJ and Reid into each chapter until they are found, at least two more._

 _Please, please leave a review, they do inspire me to write_ _…_


	13. Chapter 13

**The 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards are on! Calling all CM readers and Authors! Join us for the final round in our annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards; help us choose the best of the best Criminal Minds fanfiction and let your voice be heard. Check out the final ballot and rules at the Profilers choice Awards 2015 Forum. All rules and information can be found there. Voting ends February 29 2016.**

 _A/N Hello everyone,_

 _First off I would like to say a HUGE thank you for nominating me for a Profiler's Choice Award. I am utterly and eternally grateful. So Thank you thank you thank you. I'm in with the big wigs WOW! Please Please vote._

 _Secondly, I am so sorry I've been delayed in updating. I went on holiday to the Tip, tip of Africa (Cape Town, SA) and I didn't have internet access. Then getting back from Holiday and the stress of the New Year just kept me super busy. I also spent some time in Hospital.8 So once again I apologise for the delay._

 _This chapter was inspired by a review from,_ _UDon_ _'_ _tGet2GetMeBack_ _. Her comment struck me, and I decided to explore the reasoning behind the fight in chapter 12 from both perspectives. I also added in the kids._

 _Last but not least a HUGE thank you to my beta reader/best friend/twin/cyber-mom/person I enjoy annoying, GoodGodHenry, for her continual support, and for giving me a smile on the days I need it most._

 _Enjoy!_

 **Warning:** My personal views on abortion are not reflected in the story. It's how I believe Hotch and Prentiss interpret, and feel about it. So make out all the hate/love on the topic to them, not me.

* * *

The Unsub eased the door open as silently as he could, before he tip toed into the lilac bedroom. He didn't want to startle the sleeping child; who was curled up on the bed against the wall, in the corner of the room. The Unsub felt a smile make it's way across his face, she was beautiful. Even more beautiful in her sleep when she was at peace. She was free from the troubles that lurked in the world around her. If only she could always stay this way. He wholeheartedly hoped she would get to keep her innocence for as long as possible… No child should be hurt by an adult, or to be forced to bear the burdens of their parents.

He hoped he made the right choice by choosing Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss to be her parents. It was what the children wanted.

Gazing down at the child again, he brushed the hair off of her face with unexpected gentleness. He hated to wake her, but it was time. The children needed to get ready for this evening, the start of their new life.

Sitting down gently on the bed, he began rubbing her back, smiling at the pacifier that lay abandoned on the pillow next to her. It must have fallen out during the night as she slept.

"Jennifer, Jennifer, it's time to wake up." He cooed gently. All the little girl did in response was to stretch out, and turn over with a inaudible moan.

"Come now, Jenny. You need to wake up if you want to see your mommy and daddy today.

JJ slowly opened her eyes, "Mommy and Daddy?" she asked, rapidly trying to blink the sleep from her eyes.

"Yes, Jenny darling. Remember they are supposed to come today. But only if they are good, and follow the rules."

"And if, if they don't?" The sleepy child asked, suddenly much more alert and awake.

"Then you'll never see them again."

"N…nn..noooooo…" JJ cried out, as the tears began falling down her cheeks. "I want my mommy and daddy."

"No tears, Jennifer. You know the rules!" The Unsub said firmly. "I know your mommy and daddy will try and their best to be here. They love you very much, Jenny."

JJ nodded, and tried to stop crying, wiping her tears away. She didn't like him calling her Jenny, but she stayed silent, she didn't want to get in trouble.

"Now come along Jenny, let's get that beautiful body of your undressed…"

* * *

Hotch paused as the door slammed shut behind him. He didn't know what to do. Should he go back in, and demand that they watch the video? He was her boss after all, he had the authority to do so. Or maybe it would be better if he went in and asked for the videos so that he could watch them on his own? An incessant nagging feeling told him that neither option was a good idea.

After a moment's hesitation, he decided against both ideas.

Emily's face flashed briefly through his mind, and he could recall how vulnerable she had looked, how shaken she was. He could remember the hurt on her face, she had been so hurt. He shook his head, she was too upset to handle watching the rest of the video. Besides, he was still too worked up, too angry, and too unsettled to go back in and face her. He was already regretting what he had said to her. He didn't want to say, or do anything else to upset her, or himself, even more.

As if synchronized with his thoughts, he heard large sobs drifting through the door and into the hallway.

He felt his stomach twist into an uncomfortable knot. He had done that, he had made her cry. He hated himself for being the cause of the pain she was going through. Her words repeated themselves over, and over again in his head. Emily, unshakeable Emily, had been broken. He was the one who had broken her. He had made her vulnerable.

All because he had been a total Asshole.

She had compared him to the unsub. An unsub! It was in that moment, being compared to the low life's of the world, when the realization finally dawned on him. He had gone too far. No matter what his feelings were, he had crossed a line, and hurt Emily in the process. He wanted to turn around, and run back through the door and beg her for forgiveness.

But, before he could act on this urge, another nastier thought came to mind making his anger flare up again, and wiping out any thought of begging her for forgiveness. She had thought of leaving… leaving the team. Leaving him! - that was a betrayal in it's own right. He shouldn't be feeling sorry for her, she had no loyalty to the team, or anyone else. She was the one that had consented to killing her child, she had had the abortion, so she should feel the consequences and the pain that came with it. He wasn't going to waste his pity on her.

He walked back to his room. He needed to cool off, both literally and figuratively, he also needed some time to think. Hotch decided that having a shower would be the best course of action for him. He was exhausted, but his mind was still swimming with thoughts.

As the water sprayed down over his head, and all the way down his body, he found himself closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against the cold tiles. Life was so viciously unfair!

He and Haley had tried so desperately to have a child, but they were denied the chance again, and again, until they eventually had Jack. Having been through so many negative pregnancy tests, and miscarriages, he began to hate how easily others had gotten pregnant, and had children. They had what he wanted, and there was no way for him to control the situation, it drove him insane. He had felt like a failure, a failure as a husband, and a failure as a man. He had hated himself, but nothing, nothing could compare to the hatred and resentment he felt toward people who had abortions. They were given a gift, a precious and invaluable gift, and they just threw it away before it even left the wrapping paper. How could they destroy a part of themselves? He thought of them as being the most uncaring individuals on the planet. To him they were people on par with the unsubs they dealt with.

And now Emily was one of those people.

Hotch gave a bitter laugh, he equated her to an unsub, and she had done the same to him. How would they ever be able to work together again? He straightened up, and let the water flow over his face and head, in an attempt to drown out the bitterness from his mind. They could, and would work it out. She was still his Emily.

She would always be his Emily.

Because he knew Emily, and she was none of those things. She must have had a reason for why she had had done it. She must have! It just wasn't in her nature to be cruel, in fact she was an incredibly caring person. Hadn't he just experienced that? While the Unsub was making him relive his most painful memories, she had been there for him.

He winced as he remember what he had said to her, while at the same time he could still feel the tingle that came from touching her. He had gotten butterflies, he couldn't remember the last time he had he felt those.

Bringing a hand to his face, he cursed himself, he had been a straight up jackass. Hotch shut his eyes tightly, as if he were trying to erase what he had said, and how he had acted, from his memory.

He couldn't believe he had reacted the way he had, nor could he believe that he said what he had said. What was he thinking - he wasn't thinking, that was the problem! Hotch swore under his breath, before speaking out loud. 'Emily was 15 years old, what the fuck were you expecting her to do?' Of course she couldn't take care of a child, she was a child herself.

He needed to get a fucking grip.

Emily technically hadn't done anything wrong, and besides, even if she had, he was in no position to judge. He had killed his living, breathing, son. He felt the deep knot of pain coil itself around his heart, a pain that would never go away, a pain that would never allow his heart to beat normally again. He winced, he hoped he hadn't pushed her to far away, he couldn't face losing another person. But once again his words and actions flashed through his mind. 'Dammit' he growled, slamming his fist against the wall. No wonder she had thought about leaving, he was, what had she called him? Oh yes, he was an Asshole!

'Shit,' he thought, rubbing the bridge of his nose, he was going to lose her.

Once this realization had set in he felt his mind go to all the places he was trying to avoid. But he was no longer angry, no, he didn't even have that emotion to hide behind anymore. Now he was just feeling, feeling all the things he didn't want to feel. All the emotions he had kept locked up so tightly had finally broken through, and he felt like weeping.

He didn't know how he was going to go on. His life was crumbling around him. With intense concentration, and every ounce of strength he could muster, Hotch managed to get out of the shower.

Next, he focused on getting dressed. He focused on each task, putting on every piece of clothing on slowly, and one by one.

As he put the tie on, for a split second he didn't know if he wanted to go on living, he could just pull it tightly and it would all be over. He was drowning, and he needed air, but he couldn't find it. The dark thoughts looming in his mind were all consuming, he couldn't get away from them, he couldn't make his body work anymore.

The guilt about Jack, Haley, JJ, Reid, and now Emily was too much for him… Hotch tried to take a step forward, but his movements were jerky. He stumbled, collapsing onto the floor, and with that he finally gave in to the darkness. He let it carry him away...

* * *

JJ rushed into a room that looked like the kitchen area, with a child sized table with the children's breakfast already laid out on it, calling out "Spence, Spence!"

Spencer was already eating his breakfast, but at the sound of his name he looked up and noticed that JJ was crying. "JJ, what's wrong?" he asked, while immediately vacating his seat and pulling her into a hug. "Did you get in trouble again?" He whispered to her, worried about what the mean man could have done. JJ always got into trouble, and Spencer hated to see her crying. He was her big brother, and he wanted to protect her and make her feel better. He repeated the question into her ear, trying to get an answer.

JJ shook her head against Spencer's chest, "I not in trouble." she choked out.

"Then tell me what's wrong, Jaje?" He asked worriedly, but he got no response. He needed to make her feel better, and stop her crying. Feeling helpless the five-year-old tried a different tactic, "I like your outfit today JJ." He said smiling down at her.

JJ immediately perked up, "It's a princess dress Spence, and look it's pink, my favourite colour." she exclaimed excitedly, emphasising the fact that it was a princess dress. "And look, Spence, look what happens when I spin." JJ let go of Spencer and twirled around making the skirt of the dress flare up and down as she turned. When she completed her spins, she grinned up at her brother.

"You look very pretty, Jaje. Just like a princess." Spencer said complimenting her, while guiding her to her chair at the table.

"Thanks Spence!" JJ said beaming at him, "The man helped me put it on, he said it's a special day today."

Spencer nodded happily, "It is, Mom and Dad are coming today. We get to go home!"

At his words JJ burst into tears again, startling Spencer, "JJ, why are you crying? I thought you would be happy that Mommy and Daddy are coming."

"But, but Spence, what if something is wrong with Daddy, and he can't come anymore?"

"Don't be silly Jaje, Daddy always comes. Remember no one beats Daddy!"

JJ sniffled, but nodded. "But the man said if Mommy and Daddy don't follow the rules we won't ever see them again." she whispered, tears still streaming down her face.

"Mommy and Daddy always follow the rules, and they are gonna come, kay?"

"Kay."

"Now please stop crying, Jaje, you know the man doesn't like it, and you don't want to get into trouble do you?"

JJ shook her head, while rubbing away the tears.

"Good, now eat your food, JJ. We are going home today!"

The mention of home brought another round of tears from JJ. "Now what, JJ?" Spencer asked slightly losing his patience with her, he had just gotten her to stop, and now she was crying again. He was also nervous in case the mean man came in. "Come on, JJ, don't cry, please."

"Bu...but, but Spen.. Spence, I don't remember what our house looks like." she choked out.

Spencer frowned, a funny feeling started in his tummy when she spoke about remembering, "I don't remember either JJ, but I think when we get there we'll remember. So don't worry, kay?"

"Kay…" Neither of them were entirely confidant, but they agreed anyway...

They sat in silence for awhile, Spencer eating his cereal. JJ however hadn't picked up her spoon.

"JJ, you've gotta eat your food. Don't make the man cross JJ, please," he begged "I don't want you to be in trouble JJ."

"But I can't. Spence, I can't do it!"

"You can Jaje, just try."

"No Spence, I'm too, too sad to eat."

Sighing, Spencer switched bowls with JJ. "Okay Jaje, there's not a lot left in mine, so eat all of it okay? And I'll eat yours, so it looks like we ate all our food kay?"

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Spence. You're the best big brother in the world. I love you soooooo much."

* * *

As much as she tried, Emily couldn't pull herself together after Hotch had left. Instead she stayed seated on the floor, her back against the door, and gave in to the sobs that were bubbling inside her chest. The only thing she could do was weep.

She wept for JJ and Reid, and the suffering they were being forced to endure.

She wept for her unborn child that she would never know.

She wept for herself, and the heartbreak that Hotch had caused. She needed to give herself sometime to try and pick up the pieces of her heart that Hotch had so cruelly, and so carelessly shattered. When Hotch had walked out the door, it felt as if he had walked straight out of her heart, leaving a gaping hole in it. Emily let out a sob, her already broken life had another broken piece, a new hole - as if she needed another one. Now, there was just another empty void in her life.

As his his words began to sink in, she started to feel differently. The compassionate caring man she knew was gone, and in his place was a cruel, critical, and condemning monster. She could still feel the tingle on her arm from where he had touched her, and she let out another sob. She had known she had some sort of feelings for Hotch, but she hadn't realised just how deeply they had ran.

Now it was too late.

He wasn't the man she thought he was. Instead, he turned out to be exactly the type of person she had been afraid of her whole life, both before and after she had had to do that… that... terrible thing. Emily felt a sharp shooting pain near her heart, and let out a sharp gasp, Hotch was just like the priest who had turned her away. With this revelation, she couldn't help but sob even harder.

He had judged her. He had made her feel as if she was the lowest of lowest people. And he hadn't even heard her side of the story, he never gave her the chance to explain reasons behind why she had done what she had. How could he honestly believe that she hadn't felt any remorse for what she had done? There was not a day that went by where she didn't think about her baby, or feel a twinge of guilt about what she had done.

But she didn't regret doing it. No, she had known exactly what she was doing. She had decided to end her child's life. It was the most difficult thing she had had to do, but it was something that needed to be done.

She hadn't made the decision for herself, no her reasons went far beyond that. It wasn't a selfish act on her part. She didn't do it try and shield herself from embarrassment or ridicule. She didn't do it to save herself from her parents. She had most definitely not done it to protect her parents' reputations.

She had done it for her child.

She hadn't wanted to bring her sweet innocent baby into the lonely, cold, and bitter world she was living in. what kind of life would that have been for the child? What names would he or she be called? And most importantly, what could she offer the child, what kind of life could she give her child, when she was just a child herself? Not a good one of that she was certain. Her child was better off with God. The baby was safe there, it was free from the burdens of the world.

Emily held her head in her hands. She hadn't been able to bear the thought of her baby growing up, being looked at, and made to feel as if he or she was unwelcome, resented, fatherless and not wanted. She still couldn't bear the thought of it. It was not something she wanted for any child of hers.

So, no, she did not regret what she had done. She felt awful for having to do it, but in her heart she knew it was the right decision. She had loved the child more than she loved herself.

If Hotch couldn't accept that, well then she would have to let him go, despite any feelings she had for him. She would learn to get over him, it would be difficult but she could do it, she had done much more difficult things. Giving him up was something she would just have to do, especially since she had seen he was not the man she had fallen for. There was just no way that she would allow herself to be demeaned, or degraded by him, or anyone else for the choices she had made.

Emily felt her initial anger begin to flare again. He was an ass, and she couldn't change that. She needed to deal with it and move on, because right now the most important thing was to find JJ and Reid. Her past and present hurt could haunt her some other time. Now was not the time to feel sorry for herself. Pushing all her thoughts, and feelings back into the boxes they came from, she got up and went to wash the remaining tears off of her face.

As she splashed the cold water onto her face it felt as if she was breaking out of a trance, the water was both soothing and refreshing. She no longer felt like a broken little girl, no, now she was back to being Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss. It was time to finish the video. She glanced down and her watch, and swore when she saw the time. She had five minutes before the team was supposed to meet.

* * *

 _ANGSTY!_

 _Please leave a review, they feed the story and my soul._

 _Thank you again for the nomination. Keep voting._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 **The 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards are on! Calling all CM readers and Authors! Join us for the final round in our annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards; help us choose the best of the best Criminal Minds fanfiction and let your voice be heard. Check out the final ballot and rules at the Profilers choice Awards 2015 Forum. All rules and information can be found there. Voting ends February 29 2016.**

 _Hi there, here is the next chapter hope you enjoy!_

 _Thank you to my amazing Beta reader GoodGodHenry._

* * *

Emily sat on the bed deliberating about what to do next. Should she risk being late and finish the video on her own, in private? Or should she just give it up and watch it with the team? She felt so torn, she desperately wanted to be alone, but at the same time she felt it was time to bring the team up to speed on what has been happening. If she didn't go down soon the team would come looking for her. She already felt bad enough for being selfish and not telling them from the beginning, but, she was sure the team would understand. Well, she hoped they would. But now time was up, and there was no way she could explain the extra time she wanted to take without coming off as a self-centered. Besides that, things were way too tense between herself and Hotch, she didn't want to get pulled off the case. She wouldn't put it past him to do it if she didn't go down now. He had threatened to pull her off of this case once before, in fact it was the last time she had felt emotional.

It was her fear of not being allowed to rescue JJ and Reid that made the decision for her. She had to go down now.

Besides, she thought, the worst was over. The unsub had revealed her worst secret, the damage was done. Hotch's reaction was the worst possible reaction she could have imagined, and, she had survived. She had already made up her mind to ignore what anyone thought of her, she had done what was best for her, and her child.

Emily felt a stab of pain shoot through her chest. The team was her family! She had no idea how they would react; all she could do was hope that they would be more understanding than Hotch.

The Unsub was wrong, she truly, honestly loved every member of the team. They were the family she never had. They were the family she didn't deserve. The only reason she was considering leaving them was because she felt they deserved better than her; she had no idea how to be a part of a family. She loved them, and they loved her, well, most of them did - Hotch's anger was still in the back of her mind - and she couldn't stand to let them down, not again. She would still keep in contact with them, but distancing herself from them meant less chance of her hurting them anymore than she already had. Reid and JJ were still struggling to deal with her 'death' and disappearing act, and she just couldn't bear to bring anymore strife and disappointment into their lives. Emily shook her thoughts away, it was another issue that needed to be set aside and dealt with later.

Her mind made up, she made her way to the bathroom to shower, and get ready to leave. It was time to face the music.

* * *

As Emily made her way towards the conference room, she gave herself a silent pep-talk. 'Come on, you can do it, just breathe, it won't be that bad. Just in and out, that's it.' As she got to the door she froze. She didn't know if she could do this. 'No, Emily, you have to do this. Do it for JJ. Do it for Reid.' Making sure her mask was on and secured tightly, and that her emotions were buried, she gave one last inhale before opening the door, and walking in.

Garcia was the only one in the conference room when Emily arrived, and she was frantically typing away at her computer. Emily gave an inward sigh of relief, she had a few more moments to make sure the boxes in her head were locked tight. No one needed to know what a mess she had been earlier.

Putting a small smile on her face, she greeted her friend warmly, "Hey PG." Garcia spun around in her chair, and pulled Emily into a tight hug.

"Princess Prentiss, you've awoken. I thought we would need to send a handsome prince in to give you the kiss of true love, bringing you back to life." Emily's brows furrowed, what was Garcia going on about? It was still way too early to be this upbeat.

"Prince?" She asked skeptically.

"Yes, your Prince, your one true love, like in the fairytales." Garcia explained excitedly.

Emily had tensed at the mention of 'true love', did Garcia know about her feelings for Hotch? No, there was no way. She wasn't in love with Hotch, was she? No! She wasn't! Nope, she was just being paranoid. It was just Penelope being her normal wacky self.

"Do we need to have you drug tested again, PG? We both know my life is no fairytale."

"Oh but it could be, you're a superhero fighting all the evil in the world, yet what you long for is to live happily ever after in a world full of light, love, and life, and baby Emily's. We can't forget the mini Prentiss'"

Emily gave an awkward laugh. Okay, she was definitely uncomfortable, her paranoia was in overdrive. Why was she bringing up babies and life in the same sentence? Did she know something? No, she couldn't know anything. It just wasn't possible. This was just Pen being her innocent Penelope self. Emily felt a pang of sadness, soon her PG's world wasn't going to be so PG anymore. Pen was going to have some more of her treasured innocence taken away from her. She was going to find out just how far Emily's life was from a fairytale.

Emily wished with all her heart she could shield her from the world's cruelness, but this was Penelope's job, just as much as it was hers. Penelope coped by seeing the bright side in everything. Emily felt as if there was no brightness - at least not for herself. She gave herself a mental shake, and decided to change the topic.

"Pen, you're crazy, you know that?"

"I know! It's just that… I just… I… I just don't know what else to do. Thinking of fairy tales and true love, gives me a bit of hope. Hope that all of this is going to end okay. It's better than me sitting just sitting here and worrying about my poor Jaje and Reid… Not that I don't worry, I'm still worried… but happy thoughts make it easier, you know?" Garcia was out of breath by the time she finished speaking. Emily could see the tears in her eyes, and felt her heart break.

Grabbing Penelope by the shoulders, looking straight into her eyes, before saying "Pen, listen to me. There is nothing wrong with thinking positive thoughts, and wanting happy endings. No one would ever doubt that you care about JJ and Reid. In fact, your wacky ideas and overall craziness keeps us all going. You're our light in the darkness of all of this…" Emily said motioning towards all the files on the table.

Garcia let a tear slip out, and Emily pulled her into a tight hug. The hug was for herself, as much as it was for Penelope. The two women stayed silent, and soaked up the much support as they could from each other before Emily decided to change the topic. If they stayed like this any longer she was pretty sure she would break down and cry again.

Pulling away, she asked, "Hey, Pen, where is everyone?"

"My sweet hunk of chocolate was in the gym, pounding away at a poor, innocent punching bag." Garcia answered with a hand over her heart, as if the punching bag was a real person. Emily let out a chuckle as Garcia continued, "He was going to take a shower, can you just imagine those abs with the water dripping down, oh what I wouldn't give to…"

"Keep it PG, PG." Emily said with a real smile on her face. Ah Sweet Penelope could always make her feel better.

"Fiiinnne," Garcia said with a pout, "He should be here soon."

"Who should be here soon?" Morgan asked coming through the door, a huge grin appearing on his face when he saw he had startled both of them.

Trying to get her heartbeat back to normal, Emily turned to Morgan, and saw the smug, shit-eating smile he had on his face. Her lips began to curl into a smile, "Speak of devil…" Emily said in an audible whisper.

"Who you calling the devil, Princess?" Morgan said, bringing a hand to his heart, and feigning being hurt. Emily answered him with a wink, and her own smug smile.

"Oh, I would have so much devilish fun with you. You can be the naughty to my nice!" Penelope broke in seductively, while rubbing Morgan's arm up and down. Morgan and Emily shared a look before bursting out laughing. Penelope soon joined in. It wasn't even that funny, but it felt good to laugh. They all knew it was just a way to try and mask the tension they were all feeling, they missed JJ and Reid.

Emily was laughing with a heavy heart; She treasured these moments with her family. She was so scared that everything was going to change when they found out the truth about her.

When the laughter died down, Morgan looked around the room frowning slightly, and asked, "Where's Hotch?"

Emily was asking herself the same question, he had left the room way before she had. Her mind flashed to him broken in her arms, and then to the man filled with rage who had left. Those where extreme emotions to feel in such a short amount of time. Maybe he just needed a bit more time to get himself under control. Yeah, that was it.

"Earth to Emily." Morgan broke into her thoughts, waving his hand in front of her face. She looked up at him, and blushed slightly. Had she really just zoned out like that? "Em? Do you know where Hotch is?" Morgan asked, while trying to get a read on her, something was off.

"Uh… um… I have no idea." She said quickly, she felt uncomfortable and tongue-tied under the scrutiny.

"You sure? You seemed pretty lost in thought there. What do you know?" Morgan asked still staring at her.

"Well, uh… I think he just needs some time. I'm sure he'll be down soon."

"Needs time for what?" Morgan asked suspiciously.

"Morgan, I don't know, maybe he just needs time! This case has been hard on all of us." She answered firmly.

"I'm not buying it. You know something." Morgan accused.

Emily opened her mouth to respond, but all she managed was, "Morgan…" before he cut her off.

"Nuh uh, what aren't you telling us, Princess?" He asked skeptically. A lot, Emily answered to herself, she hated keeping secrets, but they would all find out soon enough. She just didn't want to discuss it now. She'd rather do it when everyone was together, that way she'd only have to explain everything once.

"Morgan, please, I'm asking you not to go there, not yet. You'll find out soon enough." Emily pleaded, while turning away and heading for the table.

"The last time you said that you ended up dead." He said with a pointed look.

Emily groaned at the reminder, inwardly sighing, she turned back around to look Morgan in the eye. "Derek, it's nothing like the last time, I promise. As soon as everyone gets here, I'll tell you. Okay?"

They had a brief stare down before he gave her a small nod, he decided to let it go. But just for now, he wouldn't let the day end without finding out what she was hiding.

Emily sighed in relief, and decided to change the subject quickly before he had the chance to have another go at her. "Where's Rossi?" She asked the others, looking first at Penelope who had been really quiet while she and Morgan had been speaking, before looking at Morgan for answers.

A mischievous grin crept onto Morgan's face as he answered cheekily, "Who knows what, or who that old man does at night."

Emily smirked, she was facing the door and had just seen Rossi walk in. Nudging Garcia, the two of them broke into grins. Morgan raised an eyebrow and said, "what?"

"Who you calling an old man, Derek?"

Morgan looked up, and started blushing, "Aw come on, he heard?" He groaned into his hands, while Rossi came further into the room with four steaming cups of coffee.

"That's the last time I get you coffee," He said to Morgan, "And who or what I do is none of your business." He finished off with a wink, and a small smile. Emily and Penelope began chuckling, followed by Dave, and eventually, Derek.

Once they had all settled down, and taken their seats, Rossi looked around, and asked the million-dollar question, "Where's Aaron?"

All the eyes turned to Emily, searching her for answers. 'Gee,' she thought, 'what was this, and interrogation?' She nervously began picking at her nails. Struggling to find the words, she decided to dive right into it and start at the beginning. She started with the phone call that let her know that there was a package delivered to her, and explained how she didn't want to wake them. She told them about the package, and what was in it. Finally, she told them about the videos, giving only a brief description about what they were about, and ending with, "Hotch took his hard, the Unsub exploited every weakness he had. So, I think he just needs a little more time."

"Oh, poor Bossman!" Garcia cried out, with tear filled eyes.

Rossi ignored Garcia and focused all his attention on Emily, if Hotch's video had him undone then it must have been bad, meaning Emily's had to be as equally difficult to 'take' so to speak. He needed to know if she was okay, before he could focus on anything else. "And your's, Emily, how are you taking this? Are you alright, kiddo?"

She just shrugged in response, and kept her eyes focused on the table's surface.

Before Rossi had a chance to press her further, Morgan broke in with an angry "Why didn't you wake us? Dammit, Emily!" He said banging his fist on the table, startling everyone, "we should have known as soon as you did!"

Rossi and Garcia both opened their mouths to say something to Morgan, but before they could Emily gave them a shake of her head signaling that she could handle it. Emily looked up at Morgan, and locked eyes with him so that he could read her emotions, "I knew the Unsub would bring up the worst parts of my past," she said as her eyes filled with tears, "So, I selfishly wanted to watch it on my own first, to prepare myself. I'm sorry." She finished as she wiped a tear off of her face.

Morgan softened at the depth of the emotion she was feeling, and Damn did he know what it felt like to want to keep some part of yourself private from the team. They already knew everything about each other, and it wasn't always as great as it seamed. He probably would have done the same thing. But he wouldn't have called Hotch to come watch it with him. "Why did you wake Hotch?" He asked suspiciously.

Emily shot him a hard look, she didn't like what he was insinuating. "I didn't wake him, Morgan. He was up, and saw me going down to get it, so I had no choice. He is the boss after all," she spat out bitterly. Okay so maybe she was still a little mad at Hotch, no, not a little, she was straight up pissed off with him, and the situation they were in. "I still would have preferred to watch it on my own!" She snapped.

Morgan, surprised at her anger, decided to back off.

Rossi also noticed the hostility in her tone, and was pretty certain he knew what the video was about. He inwardly cringed, she must be going through hell right now. The Unsub thrived on making people feel guilty about past mistakes. He just hoped Hotch hadn't made it any worse for her. Sighing, he decided to change the topic, "We should watch the videos. I know how difficult it must be for you, Emily, but remember we're a family. We'll be there for you, no matter what the video says." He said firmly, looking her straight in the eye, before casting hard looks at the others."

Penelope was quick to get the message, and moved to hug Emily. "You don't need to hide anything from us. Nothing can change how we feel about you."

"Yeah, Prentiss, the past is over. It's who you've become that's important to us, and girl, there's no chance I'm giving up on you."

Emily and Morgan shared another look, allowing Emily to see just how serious he was, and it meant the world to her. It felt as if a weight had been taken off her shoulders, at least her friends would still want her. She hid the small flash of doubt that creeped in, reminding her that what she had done could be way worse than they were expecting, and that in fact, they couldn't forgive. But she brushed it off, Derek and Garcia wouldn't lie to her. Besides she knew for certain Rossi was in her corner, and that did bring her a sense of comfort. Turning to Rossi, she gave a small nod to say thank you.

Rossi tipped his head in acknowledgement before issuing commands. "I'll go get Aaron. You three stay here, and call someone from forensics to pick up the package to run the DNA sample's on the hair, and pacifier, also have them check the DVD's for prints. Somebody else call the station, and try and get them to send you over the photo the sketch artist has drawn up. It should be ready by now."

After getting three nods in response, Rossi left the room to find one Aaron Hotchner.

* * *

After the phone calls were made, Morgan decided to voice what had been weighing on his mind. "Even if the DNA is a match, it still won't prove that those kids are JJ and Reid. It's just not possible."

Both women had turned to look at him, but it was Emily who spoke up. "But Derek, he sent us proof. I know it sounds impossible, but maybe he's found a way to do it."

"Nah, there's no way it's possible. I'm telling you the 'proof' doesn't prove anything."

"Fine, how so?" Emily bit back. She was 80% certain that the kids were JJ and Reid, but the other 20% still hoped that it wasn't them, that this was all an elaborate trick.

"Okay, well in the previous video we saw him break JJ's arm, and that kid in the video's, well I don't see her having a broken arm. Next look at the hair, how do we know it actually came from one of the kids? He could just as easily have cut the hair from JJ and Reid's heads and sent that to us. We only have his word to go on that it came from the kids, and honestly his word means shit to me." Derek's annoyance with the Unsub was clear. "The pacifier is no better. Yeah, we saw the kid suck on the same on, but he could have shoved into JJ's mouth and forced her to…"

Before he could finish; Garcia's computer started beeping madly, followed by her frantic cries of "Oh my god, oh my god!" as she stared at the screen.

What is it, Baby girl?" Instantly alert, Morgan moved closer to her, "Come on Garcia, we need to know."

"Okay, okay," Garcia said, flustered, and unable to take her eyes off of the screen, "The station just sent through the sketch, and, well Hotch asked me to start running facial recognition tests on all the images and angles of his face that we've managed to see so far. So last night I ran it through all the databases stateside, and came up with nothing. So I decided to run it on Interpol, and oh my gosh we have a match. The sketch confirmed it, but we definitely have a match. We've got him." She gushed out before taking in a deep breath.

Derek, taking her need for fresh air as chance to cut in, asked her the vital question. "Who is it Penelope?" He demanded.

Hope was blossoming inside of Emily, they had their break in the case.

Just as Garcia was going to respond, Rossi came charging into the room. "There's something wrong with Hotch! He's not opening the door, or responding to me, and I can hear his cell phone ringing from inside the room."

Everyone froze. The bubble of hope that had grown in Emily's stomach popped, leaving pure panic behind. All she could think about was, 'Is Hotch okay?'

After giving them a second to digest the news, Rossi began barking out orders. "Someone go and get the key to his room from reception. Morgan, you're coming with me, let's see if we can get him to answer." Morgan and Rossi left the room immediately. While Garcia and Emily stayed rooted to the spot. Garcia was searching Emily for instructions on what to do.

While Rossi was talking, Emily had come to her senses. She had made up her mind about what she was going to do. Turning to Garcia, she said, "I'll stay here, and wait for the forensic team to arrive. You go get the key, and help them, Garcia." She urged firmly, leaving no room for arguments.

Garcia hesitated, something was going on with Emily, she was usually the first to Hotch's aid. Garcia couldn't actually recall a time when Emily hadn't gone to Hotch when he was hurt, physically or emotionally. Garcia knew now was not the time to question Emily. Her Bossman needed her, so Garcia nodded at Emily and scurried out of the room as fast as her heels could carry her.

When she was alone, Emily let out a deep sigh and sat down. She was worried about Hotch, very worried, the jiggling of her stomach contents attested to that. She just wasn't sure if she would be able to help. If something was really badly wrong, he needed all the positive energy he could get. She was still too hurt and angry.

Besides, she thought, maybe he wouldn't even want her there, maybe the sight of her would just make everything worse…

* * *

 _Thank you for reading, and thanks for all the reviews and follows and favorites. I'm honored._

 _Please leave a review, long or short, good or bad, what you want or don't want. They really encourage me, and I take everything into consideration. You have no idea how much I enjoy reading them._


End file.
